Sorry if You Had To WAFER-IT

Money makes the world turn, not literally obviously. Yet somewhere in our evolution we developed a worrying worship and obsession of the dreaded paper prison. A worship that means if we have a lack of it our world seems to come to a standstill. Which means we work for the privilege to acquire the paper, why am I starting like this? Well I hope it will ease you in to the possibly devastating news I bring… about why my posts may become less frequent.

I go back to work this week, in an effort to keep the planet going. Up until now I've been doing this blog during my holiday. It’s given me the luxury to post a lot, sometimes daily. Unfortunately work will be taking up my time from now and until I develop a routine in writing my posts may become sporadic. Remember every cloud has a silver lining, as my old early mornings return so does my “cup of Joe” and the biscuit to accompany him. Today’s review is of two said coffee treats specifically two interestingly flavoured wafers.

Sorry for no picture of Marzipan as I say was in a rush to try them.

Both are rather large bags I picked up at pound land so I’m hoping I like them or else there are some dreary mornings ahead. As both are slightly odd flavours they hopefully will at least be interesting. At least they damn sure aren’t the banana ones from this review Here! The first has a marzipan filling, a taste I have a bit of an obsession for. The second is cappuccino which I am interested to see how well it mixes with coffee.

Packing five whole layers of disappointing wafer!!

The packaging on both is rather cheap looking and uninspiring, but remember it’s what’s inside that counts. On opening the marzipan wafers I’m delighted to be met with a joyous sweet almond smell. A good sign this bag will be demolished quickly, a good job too with no reseal ability. They are disappointingly small ad I get through quite a few in a short sitting. Added to my woes is that I opened the bag in such haste that all the crumbs (and there was a lot, but they were only a pound) scattered across the counter leaving it looking like a scene from Scarface.

End on a light note, a wooden llama

My haste was great and I ate quite few before the kettle had a chance to boil, it had a very strong almond taste. It was heavenly. The wafer was still nice and crunchy and not chewy as a lot of cheap wafers can be. They were also not waxy or papery and generally were good quality. There is enough cream filling for the flavour to standout, they dunk well in coffee. Mixing great and a good balance is struck between the bitterness and sweetness of the opposing forces. Definitely worth a pound, and a recommendation.

The next bag, cappuccino was a bit disappointing in the smell department and was certainly lacking. However they are slightly larger and technically seem to contain more cream. With this is more wafer layers though and the wafer on offer isn’t good. Tasting stale and rather airy, they are slightly chewy too so perhaps nearing retirement. It doesn’t get much better on dipping, turns out mixing coffee with well to be honest coffee produces little excitement. If they felt fresher and had more flavour perhaps they would be ok on their own but they’re not. Perhaps I’ll try them with some ice cream. 

A Tad Too Over Dramatic

Readers, I bring excellent news! I have it on good authority that these economically depressive times will soon be over. It will still be hard for a while; none of us can be expecting the tides of riches to wash over these shores quickly. Yet my friends, I can see hope on the horizon. Where do I get this information that fuels this prophetic vision you ask? Have I a senior official in my pockets? Well yes, however that’s not where the glad tidings come from.

No this news comes from the high streets themselves; moreover this sign came from… well a sign actually. The management of “Poundtown” is my source, for they have seen the future and rebranded as “Town”. Admittedly the decision hasn’t been taken cautiously as they have only covered the “Pound” part with cardboard. They have seen the possibilities of a monetary boom however and don’t want to tie themselves to such a measly fee for their bulk goods. A more serious belief can be seen in their new slogan of “Everything a pound and up” and I place my faith in their belief.

What does all this amount to? Well long story short I’ve been to the pound shop which with me means biscuits! (Probably could have begun here but where’s the fun in that.) So in I went to find some cheap oddities and did I find some, the highlight in the toy section in the form of a wrestler figurine. I stayed strong and resisted the urge of this perplexing item and instead bought two packs of biscuits for a pound (good deal any day). One of these packs was a pack of wafers and while some may not apply the term biscuit to them I do.

Honestly I laughed at this for about ten minutes, staff weren't impressed

I have found a recent liking for wafers where before I saw them as dull, perhaps a sign I’m maturing? I mean they aren’t too filling that you feel guilty for the extra one or two. They also go very well with a strong black coffee or tea which I’m partial to on occasions. Problem is they really only come in vanilla or chocolate so when I see banana flavour you understand the need. This need transferred into kinetic energy that got me home quicker than usual to make a brew and try a few.

Whilst I waited for said tea to brew I opened the pack. Immediately I was met with a very strong artificial banana smell. This worried me a bit, but at least it was the right fruit. So I took a bit, let me highlight that. I took a single bite out of these things and regretted me purchase even more. These fail on every level the wafer is cheap and stale and has a weird powdery texture. The banana flavour is non-existent and well when I tried dunking them, they become soggy like no bodies business. They are terrible, tasting like the cheap ice cream cones handed out by the dodgy looking vans you were told to avoid.

You have been warned!!!

This thought gave me an idea, Ice cream! perhaps that will save them. So I had some with my dessert that night. Nope. Still terrible and to make matters worse ruined my after dinner treat worse for it. Not often will I throw away in date products but honestly these make everything they touch bland and powdery. So I had to get rid of them and the black cloud they brought upon my house.

Clearly these were a mistake, fuelled by my optimism of better times ahead. Now I feel empty and I’m even more suspicious of the reliability of the sign. I’m off to withdraw all my savings and stuff it into my mattress.

Score

2 out of 11 (They smelt of banana after all)

Found

Local pound store, "Poundtown"

Final thoughts

In what situation would a wrestler need both a chainsaw and a frog half his size, doesn't bear thinking about.