McVitie's gineger bread biscuits

Ok I know you guys are probably fed up of me reviewing ginger biscuits but lets face it gingers pretty abundant this season. I wonder why certain spices have become known as festive. I'm guessing because they each create a warming feeling. They all do really, Nutmeg, Cinnamon and ginger, to be honest I'm clutching at straws on that one. I was going to mention allspice in that list but as the name suggests it's not really a spice more an amalgamation.

I'M going to move on as I fear I'm rather out of my depth here. Clearly my spice knowledge is rather lacking. I'm fine on the practical side (as in tasting) but the theory sides above me. Anyway I have three ginger based biscuits for your reading pleasure. One is a Costa coffee ginger bread man, one a Mcvities gingerman and one is a locally made red robin cookie.

 

Ohhhh Shiny

First let’s look at the Costa Coffee offering. I know what you’re thinking, why aren’t I reviewing the gingerbread latte that comes served with this drink? Well you see I didn't need to purchase the drink in order to get this guy. All I did was walk in the store say I was the one and only Roy Saxon and was offered anything I wished. Ok so that’s not true, although I was rather crafty in my procurement of it. I did the age old technique of flirting with the server. I wasn't even the initiator of said measures, so I got both a biscuit and an ego boost all in one visit. I know what you’re thinking again, Roy shame on you for flirting back. You have a stunning and beautiful girlfriend don't you? Well yes I do, she was with me and got half the gingerbread man.

Not that it was very gingery and yes I know I always say this. Also I realize I am rather harsh on any biscuit that doesn't meet my standards. But this time not only was it lacking in ginger fiery-ness, it was also rather stale. They do rather worryingly keep these in an airtight container but often they keep the lid off for easy access. Seems a bit futile in the long run. Then again I doubt many of their customers complain about the free addition with their drinks. Well I do, except mine was just free.

Next we have a very similar looking McVitie version the only difference being a layer of chocolate on the bottom. So similar in look is it similar in taste (or lack thereof). No, not at all, in fact these little guys pack a bit of a kick to them. Finally a ginger biscuit that's got a decent amount of fire to them. The chocolate is quite nice too but the spice is where the actions at. They have a nice solid crunch to them too. They even dunk well in coffee and their sweetness really comes through especially with the chocolate underbelly. I was really surprised how nice these were considering the usual mass produced cookies that are themed for holidays.

Lastly we have the red robin, the design on this thing is really nice and the sparkling red belly is the icing on the... well ginger biscuit. This has a weird very soft texture to it, not crumbly and not solid a bit like cold but not quite solid icing. In contrast the icing on top is hard and creates the crunch to this biscuit. It has a nice ginger taste to it but really the taste of icing is the prevalent flavor. It actually works quite nicely. I'm willing to overlook the lack of ginger because of how nice these look.

Overall only the Costa one was a disappointment and that's mainly down to how they are stored. I hope if any Costa people are reading, hell if anyone even reads, they start leaving the lid on. Remember please the customer and all that.

Score

Costa Gingerbread man - 2 out of 11

McVitie's ginger man - 7 out of 11

Red Robin Biscuit - 6 out of 11

Found

Costa (surprisingly)

Tesco

Local cafe

Final Thoughts

 I will try and steer clear of ginger biscuits for a while, for your sanity and mine!

Holland & Barret mincemeat Flapjack

Wow, day fifteen already. I can’t quite believe it if I’m honest, only ten days left now until the big nights finally upon us. All this build up and excitement leading to a single day. Problem is once you pass that day all you have left are the remnants. Quite literally on Boxing Day, the day we now observe basically for the purposes of eating leftovers and not feeling lazy. At one time Boxing day was a time to leave a festive tip for your post or milk man. Now who even has a milkman? And the postman’s always late anyway.

Still another day brings another festive item in line with my advent challenge. I’m doing well so far and despite a rather hectic schedule (that doesn’t mean I have a social life, believe me) I have posted each and every day. Today of course is no different and I have two traditional treats for you today, well not amazingly traditional. Not at all really apart from the fact that contain festive iconology (fancy word right?), really I just like the phrase traditional treats.

Why would he need a wand, he has teeth

First up we have something that doesn’t exactly pop into one’s mind when I think yuletide and that’s a jelly lolly pop. These things are great for seasonal holidays however as you can pretty much put any form of icing on top and deem it appropriate. This time in light of the holiday they have chosen a stocking and Polar bear motif. Polar bear seems to be an odd choice, odder still is he seems to have a fairy wand. Truly this embodies the spirit of the season perfectly, No I’m not buying it either.

It has a nice solid jelly texture to it with a nice dusting of sugar; the icing is rock solid royal icing and definitely has teeth shattering potential. The jelly tastes really nice actually, which is a nice change from the usual quality of the bargain jelly pops you get near the counters. Even more surprising is when you consider there is no sign of a company name on the product. It has a nice sweet strawberry taste to it that tastes rather fruity. The icing of course just tastes of sugar but really its only purpose is to differentiate the product from the Easter version that comes out next week. Possibly a Triceratops with some kind of diving rod, if this one’s decoration is anything to go by.

Doesn't look it but it is nice

 Next up we have a festive flapjack from Holland and Barret. Again flapjack isn’t really what I picture this time of year. But like the jelly pop you can pretty much add anything to a flapjack to make it current.  Quite a good unintentional pun was made there when you consider this bar has currents in it. Basically it is a normal oaty flapjack with some mincemeat added for Xmas measures.
That isn’t to say it’s not nice, it is and indeed since finding these I’ve taken advantage of the stores two for one mix and match policy while these are around. The flapjack has a soft and crumbly texture to it. Maybe a bit too sticky but that’s thanks to the syrup. Which is needed as it makes it taste beautiful, honestly these melt in your mouth first with the taste of a mince pie and then with a syrupy aftertaste. There is a nice dusting of icing sugar on top too, invoking a sense of snow… or dandruff.  

Overall both of these products whilst not exactly quintessential for Christmas are a nice little passing attraction.

Score
Polar bear jelly pop - 7 out of 11
Mincemeat Flapjack - 9 out of 11

Found
Polar bear pop came from Superdrug and the Mincemeat Flapjack can be found in Holland and Barrets

Final Thoughts
Why were the company too ashamed to put the name on it?

Tesco's finest Belgian Chocolate Salted Caramels and Mr Kipling's Frosty Fancies

One thing that occurs a lot in this season is a curious increase in social gatherings. Especially of the house party variety, not the Facebook kind of loose morals and clothing. No, the type I'm talking about is the wholesome friendly get together. A time of catching up, finger foods and forced party games.

It is lovely to see friends from far away come together to catch up and share an evening. Weird how no matter how much time has past, often you immediately start from when you last left it. The old jokes and anecdotes re-emerge, of the time John tripped over that sheep, remember that one? You get that nice table spread filled with sandwiches, cakes and small meat items that you wouldn't usually eat. On that very table is where you expect to see today's items. Although by the look of the two they probably wouldn't share.

 

They look a bit off putting with the odd lump on top.

There is one bad thing about these social get togethers, they can breed a sense of one-up man ship. You put out those really fancy cakes from Tesco's finest range because Cindy bought Salisbury's taste the difference. Really the whole concept of premium food is built upon a bit of pettiness on our parts. But then if we didn't have that I wouldn't have polarising items today, one from the finest range and one, well from Poundland.

So first up Poundland, although not like Poundlands own stuff (wouldn't want to poison anyone, would we?). These are Mr Kipling's at least so still recognisable. Mr Kipling's Festive Fancies. Another shameless display of a product re-skin for the yule tidings. Then again they were only a pound so can't complain.

 

Screaming both luxury and over indulgent at once

Plus I kinda like them. The fairy cake base is delightfully light and fluffy with a nice subtle vanilla taste. Now I know that wasn't anywhere near a manly description but then there is not much manliness about this product. The icing combines well, it's got an odd soggy but solid texture that creates a cooling sensation in my mouth. Frosty Fancies indeed. All was going well until I hit the cream, tasting of very little and an unpleasant waxy texture. I ended up scraping it off and enjoying the rest separately.

Next up we have Tesco's finest Belgian Chocolate Salted Caramel Petit Fours. Basically Millionaires Shortbread. They look soooo cool the top Belgian chocolate has gold sparkly glitter finish. It may not add anything to taste but it definitely looks premium.

 

The glitter doesn't sparkle in pictures quite the same.

Believe me the impressiveness extends to the taste, mostly. The top layer wasn't that great not much taste and I didn't notice it too much. But that could be it was overshadowed somewhat by the AMAZING salted caramel. Seriously the sweetness of the caramel mixed with the perfect amount of salt create bliss in my mouth. Plus its kinda crunchy too, The paste alone would have been enough to keep me happy. Though admittedly it is a bit overly sweet and that's where the base comes in. Providing a crumbly texture and a subtle butter taste that keeps these from being sickly.

Overall screw impressing people, get these finest range Petit fours and these Frosty Fancies. Then sit in a corner and eat them all flicking the cream topping at the walls. For the guests I dunno flies or something.

Score

Frosty Fancies - 7 out of 11

Petit Fours - 10 out of 11

Found

Poundland

Tesco

Final Thoughts

I need to find me some salted caramel paste, grow old and die happy!

Cupcake conundrum

Have no fear readers I am still alive. Yes I managed to stay at the Murder Motel and come out unscathed. It appears as if my insanity was too much even for the ghosts and ghouls that roam those halls. Either that or the Blood Bag yesterday was actually edible (barely) and wasn’t as toxic as it looked/tasted.

So onwards with our adventure to the foulest and most fun day of the year, Halloween. While yesterday’s review may have been a washout the principle of an item I have yet to touch is maintained in spirit today. For like yesterday todays item or rather items are things I never buy, mainly because I don’t usually like them

Today’s review is of two Halloween themed cupcakes, one from Gregg’s and one from a local baker. I don’t know what it is about cupcakes that I don’t like they just always seem a bit disappointing. Before you all arrive at my door pitchfork and torches in hand let me expand on my opinion. I know that it probably is one held by few especially it seems at the moment when cupcakes with unique and exciting toppings are all the rage.

To be fair perhaps the eyeball one would be more Halloweeny

The problem is however indeed those unique and exciting toppings. Gasp, shock, and horror I know. It’s just yes those toppings are cool and tasty but the cakes underneath are usually all the same and the majority of what you’re eating. There are only a few varieties of flavour that you see underneath and most of the time it’s vanilla. The toppings are where the makers focus all their efforts as they know it’s where your attention is. Sneaky folks these bakers (no offence it’s a clever ploy after all!) However I thought in all things new experiences I would bite the sponge (probably vanilla) and try a couple to see if my tastes have changed.

So first up we have Gregg’s cupcakes, they had two types in stock I picked the left hand one in the photo with orange buttercream icing. It looked nicer and at least it has some chocolate so I’m not too far from my comfort zone. I may go back and try the eye one but the topping just didn’t look so nice (see even I’m a sucker for looks). I took a lick of the topping and found it to be a rich butter cream as I had expected, a bit too rich really. Although when I bit into the cake as a whole finding vanilla (knew it!) I also found that actually a planer sponge taste compliments the sweetness well. Anything more would be too sickly, after all this comes close as it is.

How much is that ghosty in the window?

Yes it was nice but I’m afraid nice doesn’t make me a lover of cupcakes from now on. The second one I tried from a local baker came as a result of not absolutely hating the first. Also the one I saw made me chuckle and when that happens I’m in love. The one I plumped for is the cheerful little ghosty at the front as he captured my heart. The buttercream on top of these were described as cream cheese frosting so I had high hopes to begin with. Again I started by giving the topping a lick first and found it to be subtly sweet with a good cheesy afterthought. I plucked off the icing ghost too and ate him separately. He was nice although I did feel a heavy pang of guilty as I knew his hopes for life (this worlds and the next) had now been crushed. As a whole the cupcake tasted ok, sadly the cake underneath wasn’t carrot cake. Strange that they didn’t go for a carrot cake bottom considering how the top was cream cheese. They may have missed out on some extra brownie points there.

Overall they were nice but they neither surprised me nor turned me into a cupcaker. After all the toppings were the main attraction again.

Score

Gregg's ghoulish offering- 6 out of 11

Bakers benign treat- 8 out of 11

Found

Gregg's and high street baker

Final Thoughts

Never seen a cupcake with topping underneath, could be interesting and errrm messy 

Doughnut Dangers

They say good things come in threes so perhaps todays review will prove this is true. That’s because todays Halloween temptation comes from the bakers doors once again. The baker in question is Gregg’s and after proving me wrong the other day. I decided to tempt fate and be tempted by their monstrous donuts.

Now I’ll confess here, I’m not a fan of donuts. I know, it’s terrible I’m so sorry. As someone who clearly revels in everything sweet you must respect it takes some serious guts to admit to that truth to the world at large. In fact I’ll go so far as to admitting distaste to most things pastry. There’s just something about dough and crusts that disappoint me. I love the fillings however, which puts me in a bit of a quandary. Especially when you factor in the point that often the filling is rather sparse as it’s the most expensive part to make.

His expression says many things scary isn't one of them

After yesterday’s discussion about how I would like to be challenged by you guys to make me step out of the norm, I thought I should compel myself to do so too. This plus the fact that actually these donuts look pretty tasty. Lastly it’s only seventy five pence, can’t go wrong at that price. If it is nice I spied that the doughnut next to it was a banana milkshake one which sounds rather tempting.

One problem I realised straight away is that these are not exactly fresh. As I say I’m not a fan of pastries and about the only time I fancy them is when they are baked fresh and warm. The last donut I had before this was I admit pretty amazing but I think this was more down to the event and the company I was with. Unfortunately this time its wet cold and I’m alone, I should point out I’m just walking to work not like being held hostage although many say it’s pretty much the same thing.

I took a deep bite into this donut straight away, mainly because in experience I’ve found the fillings tend to be rather central so best to get there quick. I was right there was a filling, disappointingly it was just jam. Don’t get me wrong I love jam but considering how the banana one had milkshake in it this is hardly special. To make matters worse the icing on top seems to just be coloured orange icing and provides no actual flavour. It seems we have another case of a company phoning it in a bit for the holidays.

What constitutes a scary chicken?

The dough on the outside is nice but would be much nicer if it was warm and fresh. Also it is a bit stodgy but not too bad considering my expectations I did have for Gregg’s. However next time guys can I get some more jam please. I will probably go back however for the banana shake. I may even review it.

Evidence of the phoning it in from the Gregg’s household was abundant in their windows. Several of their posters depicted their pastries beneath a Halloween pun. Guys just because you put a scarily bad pun above your product don’t make it festive to this hellish holiday.

Overall it wasn’t too bad, bit dull. It was essentially a jam doughnut with some orange icing on top. 

The design was kinda cool but only because the it looks more like the guys constipated or ill, which made me chuckle.

Score

5.5 out of 11

Found

Gregg's the bakers

Final Thoughts

I also want to try Starbucks new product the Duffin (doughnut muffin FYI)

Casper the friendly Cookie

There is a bit of a problem with myself made Halloween challenge. Can you see it? Basically all of the products I have tried and I am planning to try are a bit samey. I fear that by the time the bell tolls on Halloweens Eve I will be sick to death of creepy candy.

Take for example today's review item, a gingerbread ghost from my local bakers. Now it’s a perfectly good product and I know it’s going to be good quality. However it is the third ghoulish themed biscuit I have tried in a week. It’s why I set up the Challenge Me page because if I’m left to choose what I review it gets a bit familiar. It’s a problem we all naturally have that certain things will always be what catch our eyes.

Can you see what I mean about the basic shape?

So let todays post not only is a review of casper the friendly caper, but also a plea to you guys. Please send me challenges either in the comments of my posts or through my twitter HERE. Recommend or challenge me to find a product you know about I don’t care if it’s foul or fruity, salivating or shocking or even downright amazing.

Anyway on to today’s biscuit treat.  I spied this in my local bakers Reeves and thought it would be a nice accompaniment to my much beloved afternoon coffee. Regular readers will know two things at this point. Firstly my coffee lunch drink and biccy is very important and sets me right for the rest of the day. Secondly that when it comes to ginger based products I am very picky. There is clearly a right way to do it like these flapjacks and a very wrong way to do it like this terror.

First world problems right here!

However Reeves haven’t steered me too wrong in the past and it is fresh so we should be off to a good start. The design is nice if a bit of an odd shape. True it does look ghostly with the thick layer of white icing. Take that off however and it kinda looks to me like Mr Hanky from South Park. Not really wanting to dwell on that I’ll move on. It smells nice a gingery which is a good sign that it could be strong enough to satisfy my needs although I have been wrong before. Probably because my standards are a tad too high perhaps.

I nipped off a bit of the icing and find it to be rather solid almost like a sheet of plastic, luckly it doesn’t taste of such. In fact the icing doesn’t taste of anything much except sugar. Not necessarily a bad thing after all I wasn’t expecting any flavour. The biscuit itself has a nice fiery kick and good ginger taste to it, however it’s a bit hard and isn’t very sweet.

I saw the solution immediately have both bits together; you know how they intended it to be eaten. When both layers are consumed it does mix reasonably well. Although because both are rather solid to say the least the experience is a bit jarring, like biting a brick wall at times. One problem then occurred when the slab of icing completely fell away. Not a good sign really especially considering my earlier thought about how it looks minus decoration.

Not relevant but I made this, kinda proud :)

It’s not coffee and biscuit time without a mention to the dunking experience. As expected this is a good dunker and drinks the coffee in as much as I do. It tastes great this way too, no longer too hard and hasn’t turned too mushy the ginger flavour is really brought out. I soon munched the rest of the biscuit and then found a bag of icing left which I’m going to save for sweet snacking throughout the rest of the day.

Overall this was a great biscuit, however I would rather have had to seek it out rather than stroll past. Take this as a challenge from me to you reader, make me work for this blog!

Score
7 out of 11

Found 
Reeves the bakers

Final Thoughts
I hope I'm not coming off to strong or you guys will never call me maybe.

Monster Mash Well Jelly Really I Guess

Ok so far in my Halloween challenge we have had biscuits, chocolate and trepidation. I notice something missing there and in fact something that’s worryingly rare for my blog as a whole. Can you guess what? If not why not go back and read all my posts again, go on you know you want to.

For those of you not wanting to trawl through my blogging archive (I don’t blame you) I’ll give you the answer. My blog is frightfully devoid of all things chewy, it seems that I have rather favoured chocolates above all. So when I saw these monstrously cool looking lollipops I thought what better time to start to chew.

The monster looks a bit uncomfortable, there is a reason for this.

Today’s products are described as marshmallow and jelly decorated lollipops, they are essentially those jelly sweets with the hard icing on top. They don’t exactly appeal too many but in a weird way I find the crunch and taste of the cheap icing rather pleasing. I found two packs of two and an offer that allowed me to justify purchasing both at once happy days are here again folks.

So we have four different beasties here a bat, a witch, Frankenstein’s MONSTER (guys it’s not Frankenstein he’s the scientist!!!) and a mummy. They all look rather cool although the witch looks a bit orange and cheerful to be an evil witch perhaps she’s just a trick or treater. These are actually pretty impressive for their price as each is a different fruit flavour too. Some are a bit devoid of icing the monster particularly is mainly jelly but to be honest the designs are nicely done without it.

Which Witch is which? Hint- The one on the left.

First up I tried the bat, he is the most “frightening” of all four so I thought I’d better kill him off quick. It tasted how I remember these jelly type pops to taste. Rather sugary with a nice squishy texture that melts well and with the icing on top that adds an impressive crunch. I was surprised by how nice the blackcurrant taste is. Not too sugary and not too artificial, a nice balance has been struck. It has been a while since I’ve had these lollys. Perhaps significant developments have gone on in the field. It is after all an essential if we want our society to flourish!

Next up I tried the monster, unfortunately he fell off his stick. However I can’t really blame him the stick had been strategically placed where the sun doesn’t shine. He must have annoyed the moulder somewhat to deserve this cruel and rather unusual punishment. I didn’t have the heart to resign him to the torment and instead bit off his head! He didn’t have any real flavour to him unfortunately to the point where I couldn’t even tell what he was supposed to be. Added to this the lack of icing which seemed to just be his socks meant he was rather dull as dishwater.

Attack bat gets his own photo shoot, blatant favoritism

The witch went next, another good quality fruity jelly. She had a taste of Tangerine weirdly not normal Orange, a bit too sweet perhaps. Not artificially sugary, so still quite nice. She had the most icing too which I relished in. Lastly we had the mummy, the biggest of the lot of them it had a nice design. Although the eyes were a bit odd and looked more like a pig snout. When I bit in I found a nice and subtle Vanilla marshmallow taste which made a nice change from the fruit. Could have been a bit stronger perhaps, but otherwise really nice.

Overall I was impressed by these lollipop offerings especially as they are on offer. My favourite by far was the blackcurrant bat who boasted a nice flavour and good amount of icing. However all were well designed and didn’t have the artificial taste I had expected.

Score

8 out of 11

Found

Tesco's Halloween aisle on offer now!

Final Thoughts

I think all this sugars going to have me bouncing off the castle walls.

Ghostly Goings Gone

Its October the spookiest and probably greatest month of them all, to me at least. So to celebrate from this post until November I pledge only to review the most chilling of confectionary.

I'll elaborate slightly on that as I mean chilling in the uneasy sensation sense not the feeling of coldness one gets from a stiff breeze or ice cream. Although A month of reviewing does sound appealing and my love of it would overcome even the harshest of brain freeze and overdosing on dairy. I'd better get back to the point before I go off on a tangent and a trip to the freezer. So anyway Octobers here bringing Ghosts, ghouls and garishly coloured treats and a few tricks I'm sure too. It's not going to be too hard I'm sure to find freakishly themed sweets this month but I'll treat it like a challenge anyway!

The first item in my quest was an impulse buy of the highest order. I went to my local corner shop to buy a simple pen but found something more. As soon as I saw his winning smile and cheeky expression my heart melted much like ummm ice cream (Right it's too much, to the fridge!). I couldn't resist purchasing after all I do love ginger so that alone warranted a purchase.

How could you not be charmed by his expression?

The creators of this gingerbread man clearly don't quite get the concept of Halloween. Not only is this skeleton not terrifying but the box displays his inquisitive and childlike glee through a heart shaped window! I didn't even have high hopes for the taste of this as it does look rather cheaply made, but that’s not what attracted me. The fact that the ridiculous look of the packaging made me laugh was enough to warrant the purchase. Clearly this guy’s relying on his looks to get himself ahead in life (or rather the AFTERlife hahaha).

Let's skip past these frightful puns (sorry!) to get to the review. My fears of quality deficiency were only confirmed when I removed him from the box. He lacked any gingery smell to him or of anything in particular except cardboard. The icing had impressively stayed firmly cemented though the plastic like hardness to it perhaps suggests actual building work went on. I picked a bit off and found it to be tasteless and hard.

If we had smell-o-scope you'd smell cheap cardboard and disappointment

One good thing however is his shape, a good old classic silhouette human shape. There’s something worryingly satisfying about eating human shaped products no matter what guise they take. You can try to hide it but you know you gleefully bite off the heads of jelly babies you monsters! This guys no different and in revenge of the money I may have potentially wasted I ripped off an arm with gay abandon. I then proceed to slap him with it just to get my kicks before chewing.

I'm glad I got that little taste of revenge because it was all the taste I'd be finding. The box exclaims that it is "Oh so... Scrummy" believe me there’s nothing here I would consider scrummy. Bland yes and slightly stale but scrummy no. I may be being a bit harsh gingers one of my favourite flavours, as we saw in my review Here when ginger products are done well I get very happy. It needs to be a very strong fiery ginger to please me. There is no fire on offer here and I soon gave up seems it tastes as it smells, cardboardy. Dunking in tea didn't help and when you find yourself saying that you know there’s an issue.

Childish but it had to be done

The only source of fun I found was by strategically and rather childishly rearranged the icing. At least one of us got excited by this as you can tell from the photo. I soon abandoned it, that’s how bad this tasted folks that I'm not even going to finish it. Hopefully I'll find some use in the realms of baking or he'll end up becoming a permanent resident.

Overall let this be a lesson to all about the dangers of letting your heart rule your wallet and impulse buying. Like me you could end up with and always aroused amputee for a flatmate... who smells like cardboard?

Score
2 out of 11

Found

Local Premier Corner shop

Final Thoughts

He refuses to even contribute to the rent.

Beware the Bownessie mi boy!!!

What’s Britain’s longest river? What can someone take a three hour boat tour around? And finlly what lies beneath its calm surface? All these and a few more burning issues will hopefully be answered in today’s blog.

Basically the answer is Lake Windermere and a lot of fish but little else. Leaving it at that wouldn’t be very entertaining for you to read. So today I’m writing from the southernmost point of the lake at a place imaginatively called the Lakeside. It has an aquarium which I strolled round as I await my vessel to take me to the town of Bowness. I’m not doing the three hour tour however as I have lots of important things to do and little time (although nothing actually springs to mind).

My fine vessel the Teal

Once seated on the fine boat the Teal we begin to sail out and I realise actually I wouldn’t mind doing the full three hours. It’s so relaxing just sitting here looking out the window watching the world go by. The scenery is beautiful even in the torrential rain coming down, yet the surface of the water still seems so calm. It’s so deep and still it reflects everything right back off it like a mirror,  creating a glorious effect with the surrounding hills.

However these calm deep blue waters may conceal a monster. Supposedly beneath me right now could be a beast! A terrible Green monster with teeth the size of my arm, with jaws big enough to catch this very ship and drag it down into the murky depths. A beast so terrible he chooses to wear a bright yellow cap and rescue stranded children instead if you believe the posters. I’m talking about Bow Nessie Lake Windermere’s very own mythical creature. Nope I’d not heard of him either until I saw the poster on the boat by which time it could have been too late for me! Clearly he needs to get himself a better PR agent; perhaps the Loch Ness Monster can suggest his.

By the time I'd seen this it was already too late!!!

Monster hunting aside, what could make this trip even better? Why a pot of tea and a couple of biscuits that’s what. I stowed the biscuits away in my coat as I wanted to review them and what better place to write than amongst this setting. The first biscuit is a Starbuck’s Biscotti I bought on a whim. I’ve been meaning to try Biscotti for a while, but whenever I have the chance I end up going for a chocolate wafer instead. The second is a shortbread biscuit featuring a startled pumpkin I purchased on one final outing to Bryson’s. Well it is Friday the 13^th so it seemed appropriate.

I know, I know much like these cookies I crumbled (bad pun is bad) and returned to Bryson’s for a third time. I can’t help it I’m addicted to their baked goods. At least I am admitting it which is the first step to recovery. Also I need to stock up It’s nearly the end of my trip and I need supplies to help with going cold turkey from the great week.

So first up we have the Biscotti, upon opening I’m not met with any smell which is slightly concerning but I persevere. I am shocked at how solid these are; honestly they are more like rocks than biscuit. I’m seriously concerned for my teeth on this one. Clearly not too concerned, as I soon take a bite off the end. It tastes great with a subtly sweet taste, the ends are slightly burnt too giving it a great toasted taste. This goes towards the centre however replaced with almonds that add their own flavour and crunch.

One thing that’s kept me from purchasing I the past is how dull these look but they are actually pretty varied. There’s even a slight whisper of orange but that could just be me. When dipped the cookie gets damp but doesn’t fall apart, it also helps bring out the sweetness and the nuts maintain some of its crunch. A very nice biscuit I will definitely be buying more.

This biscuit kept evil at bay, also what you can't see is it was glittery. Useless but nice touch!

Next up the Bryson’s pumpkin biscuit, I think it’s shortbread but seems very thick (not that I’m complaining). I take a bite and I’m immediately surprised at the icing, I had expected it to be hard and brittle. Yet instead it’s soft and creamy as though it had only just been applied. It has no taste of its own being mostly for show and texture. This is a good thing however as it allows the taste of the cookie to come through.

What a taste at that, it crumbles and melts instantly with a freshly baked buttery taste that’s divine. When dunked it does get a little soggy and you lose the satisfaction of melting it in your mouth but it still tastes great. Bryson’s have done it again; I’m going to miss those guys. (I would like to point out I am not getting paid by them they just happen to be the bakery near my hotel.)

Overall it maybe Friday the 13^th but I’m anything but unlucky. Great scenery, great biscuits, great tea. It’s amazing final day to my trip. Why do holidays have to end?

Score

Biscotti 5 out of 11

Pumpkin 7 out of 11

Found

Biscotti-Starbucks

Pumpkin- Bryson's bakery

Final thoughts

I wonder if a few shops I've been in recently have a delivery range of half the country?