Mince Pie Madness

The big days but five more days away, and despite yesterdays post suggesting slight disdain at blogging here I am again. Today however in order to preserve my sanity (if that’s at all possible) I thought I would do something different. Instead of reviewing some product or another instead I will do a top of the pops style list feature. But what on you ask, especially if you haven't bothered to read the title. Well Mince pies of course.

This year I have seen a multi-tude of these pastry pals some with some cool topping ideas. Before this year in fact mince pies barely registered with me, unless they are homemade I never got too excited before. Shop bought ones always crumble away and have an odd greasy texture to the pastry. Even without the bad texture I find the pastry shells a bit boring anyway and unfortunately make up the majority of the pie. That's why I like these varieties that I have tried this year as they all have a rather pleasing substitute.

 

I was tasked with eating all these...

In last place we have no topping, an open tart concept. The only reason I like this one really is because the lack of topping means less pastry and if you’re lucky more filling. Even better is if the pastry base is thin and slightly burnt giving it a crisp rather than crumbly texture.

What about those those use a different kind of pastry? That question was well timed as now I turn to puff pastry mince pies. I don't mind these if I'm honest they are crispy and often sprinkled in sugar that if cooked right has begun to caramelize on top. The only problem is often these can be rather flakey and you end up with most of it down your jumper.

 

And these

Next is a hazelnut topped pie I tried. Very similar to the tart version this has shredded hazelnut on top which creates a crunchy nut topping. Not as exciting as I had hoped when I saw it but still definitely preferable from the usual pastry. Joint at this position is a Viennese topped pie. With a soft and crumbly biscuit top that was a bit too similar to the normal version but had a nice buttery taste that boosted its ranking.

Now we are somewhat into the elite territory folks. These were my top three that I have seen so far this year. A meringue topped pie was a cool idea and one that worked quite nicely, at first at least. The first few bites were great with the meringue offering a slightly sweet taste and an interesting texture combination. The trouble was it soon fell apart quite literally as the top fell on the floor and I was left with the basic tart.

 

Challenge accepted and completed!

In second place is a Cherry Bake well type display. Instead of pastry it had a nice iced top with a delightful cherry at its center. This was great as I'm not fond of Bake well’s in general but do enjoy the iced topping and combined with the mincemeat filling I got the best of both worlds. The version I tried was baked to perfect too with the icing cooked into a nicely solid state of being.

My favorite however with no comparison has to be a frangipani mince pie. These are quite frankly amazing. With a sweet almond cake mixture top that has a light and fluffy texture and a sweet flavor. This combines beautifully with the crumbly solid base and gives the whole pie a new feel.

Overall I have found a new lease on mince pies this year by reveling in non-traditional variations.

Score

Mince pies - 7 out of 11

Found

Various places

Final Thoughts

So full no room for thoughts!

Doughnut Dangers

They say good things come in threes so perhaps todays review will prove this is true. That’s because todays Halloween temptation comes from the bakers doors once again. The baker in question is Gregg’s and after proving me wrong the other day. I decided to tempt fate and be tempted by their monstrous donuts.

Now I’ll confess here, I’m not a fan of donuts. I know, it’s terrible I’m so sorry. As someone who clearly revels in everything sweet you must respect it takes some serious guts to admit to that truth to the world at large. In fact I’ll go so far as to admitting distaste to most things pastry. There’s just something about dough and crusts that disappoint me. I love the fillings however, which puts me in a bit of a quandary. Especially when you factor in the point that often the filling is rather sparse as it’s the most expensive part to make.

His expression says many things scary isn't one of them

After yesterday’s discussion about how I would like to be challenged by you guys to make me step out of the norm, I thought I should compel myself to do so too. This plus the fact that actually these donuts look pretty tasty. Lastly it’s only seventy five pence, can’t go wrong at that price. If it is nice I spied that the doughnut next to it was a banana milkshake one which sounds rather tempting.

One problem I realised straight away is that these are not exactly fresh. As I say I’m not a fan of pastries and about the only time I fancy them is when they are baked fresh and warm. The last donut I had before this was I admit pretty amazing but I think this was more down to the event and the company I was with. Unfortunately this time its wet cold and I’m alone, I should point out I’m just walking to work not like being held hostage although many say it’s pretty much the same thing.

I took a deep bite into this donut straight away, mainly because in experience I’ve found the fillings tend to be rather central so best to get there quick. I was right there was a filling, disappointingly it was just jam. Don’t get me wrong I love jam but considering how the banana one had milkshake in it this is hardly special. To make matters worse the icing on top seems to just be coloured orange icing and provides no actual flavour. It seems we have another case of a company phoning it in a bit for the holidays.

What constitutes a scary chicken?

The dough on the outside is nice but would be much nicer if it was warm and fresh. Also it is a bit stodgy but not too bad considering my expectations I did have for Gregg’s. However next time guys can I get some more jam please. I will probably go back however for the banana shake. I may even review it.

Evidence of the phoning it in from the Gregg’s household was abundant in their windows. Several of their posters depicted their pastries beneath a Halloween pun. Guys just because you put a scarily bad pun above your product don’t make it festive to this hellish holiday.

Overall it wasn’t too bad, bit dull. It was essentially a jam doughnut with some orange icing on top. 

The design was kinda cool but only because the it looks more like the guys constipated or ill, which made me chuckle.

Score

5.5 out of 11

Found

Gregg's the bakers

Final Thoughts

I also want to try Starbucks new product the Duffin (doughnut muffin FYI)

Fuzzy Monster Biscuit Bites Back

Ok so three mediocre to bad products is a bit of a bad run really isn’t it? Clearly these occultish treats have been sent to torment me. Or companies aren’t really that concerned with the standard of their products when dealing with a semi-popular holiday.

Either way I’ve decided it’s time to try a change of tact to break this bad spell. Today I thought I’m going to go for something fresher for review. The idea came to me as I finished work and bleary eyed I searched for caffeine. My search took me reluctantly to Gregg’s “the bakers”. I say reluctantly as I try not to go to Gregg’s usually, I’ve always thought of them as the McDonalds of bakeries. True their stuff looks tempting but fast and unhealthy is what I see behind the glamour.

However today was different as it was the nearest shop that sold takeaway coffees. Whilst there I took a look at their Halloween treats section, which kinda confirmed the usual Gregg’s suspicion. Yes all the monster themed cupcakes looked good but therein lay the point. They ALL looked good and ALL looked the same, I don’t think homemade food should or can look so uniform. That’s why I assume that most is made off site and perhaps “baked” (or warmed) in store. I’m sorry to anyone who is offended by this and if you know more about their baking policies feel free to comment. You may prove my assumptions wrong and I’ll happily become a Gregg’s regular.

 

It looks exactly the same as every other branch

Anyway the point is one of their lines was different, there in one of the baskets which I assume is meant to give the impression of a fresh bakery (sorry sticking to the review now.) This line was the monster biscuit you see in my photo, what made them different and stand out to me wasn’t however the design or the colours. No I saw that they had inconsistencies, some were off centred and slightly dog-eared. I t gave me hope that these were prepared by the fair people of this one store. Slightly hypocritically I picked up the best looking one and purchased it, in the hope that not only my review luck will change with a fresh approach (pun intended) but perhaps my opinion of Gregg’s too.

Now I’m not sure what type of monster this is, at first glance you may assume a green faced witch. However I’m taken to understand that a black hat is a requirement of witches so that can’t be true. I think I’ll refer to it as a fuzzy monster as the sprinkles give the impression of something with slightly more than an eight o’clock shadow.  Either way it is a rather cool and tasty looking biscuit treat.

It kinda felt like I was eating a Sesame Street puppet. 

The base is some form of butter or shortbread biscuit, atop this sits a rather large marshmallow dome. The marshmallow has then been decorated with green sprinkles and a nice icing paper decal. Now these decals feel a bit like cheating to some, after all it’s not too hard to do eyes and a mouth with icing. I however love this stuff and get addicted to it worrying, so I’m not complaining.

The biscuit alone is ok, it’s got a nice crumbly texture to it, however it’s a bit bland in taste and doesn’t taste very sweet or buttery. This was slightly disappointing until I dipped a piece in my coffee which took on a transformation, absorbing the caffeine woke it up and gave it a nicely subtle sugary taste. Then I got to the marshmallow and the surprise really began.

The marshmallow was delicious, the outside is nice and firm so I’d assumed it to be your typical mallow. How wrong I was, prepared greatly so that whilst the exterior did hold its shape but making the inside greatly gooey to the point where it’s almost a liquid. Both the mallow and the biscuit combine well, the mallow adds sweetness and melts just as well as the biscuit in my mouth. Clearly the biscuit alone wasn’t meant to be sweet as the sweetness comes from the marshmallow and sprinkles, Oh yeah and the jam!

Showcasing the awesome jammy goodness!

For you see hidden deep within the cellar lies a terrifyingly good secret. Underneath the marshmallow is a thin but adequate layer of jam. This creates an amazing combination with all the layers intertwining beautifully. The sprinkles are great too adding both crunch and sugary taste that fits nicely.

The experience is a bit similar to that of a Tunnock teacake. Instead of a chocolate layer and thin biscuit however we just have a thicker biscuit and a layer of sprinkles. The marshmallow itself is very similar and it’s not often a mallow can be prepared almost as good as the mighty Tunnock. As we know from my earlier review HERE I am a big fan of Tunnock's so it was a four gone conclusion when the jam and realisation hit.

Overall these have beaten my expectations; maybe I have been too harsh to Gregg’s. Indeed in this case they have succeeded in both turning me and this bad spell around. I still can’t quite get over the feeling of unease I get when entering their stores, the attempts to feel like a local bakers when I know there’s thousands exactly the same just doesn’t sit right with me.

Score

7 out of 11

Found

"My local" Gregg's the bakers.

Final Thoughts

There are three local Gregg's all within one mile and all look exactly the same. 

I fly High with the Bird's and Elephants!!!

 You know what really sucks about holidays? The last day, not only have you got to pack up everything but you need to travel to get home too. Every time is the same too no matter how much extra space you leave to compensate you still don’t have enough case room for all your souvenirs. Then there’s the weather, usually it’s either the best day all week the sun bearing down on you as you struggle with the cases. Or worse it’s pouring with rain and reflects your already dull and damp mood. (In scriptwriting this is called pathetic fallacy.)

As you may be able to guess my holiday is over, the cars packed and physically I’m ready to leave. Mentally I won’t to stay and the thoughts of the six hour car journey do nothing to sweeten my mood. Thankfully we are stopping over at relatives at the half way point to give ourselves a bit of a break. Let me tell you after sitting in the cramped car for so long that stop over will feel like another mini holiday!

Going to miss this scenary

I also have the thoughts of the home cooked meal we have to look forward to when we arrive as well, something we’ve missed out on recently. Don’t get me wrong the food was but it wasn’t exactly prepared with TLC. No, most of the time it was plainly obvious the only warmth coming from the food was an aftereffect of the radiation waves. Nothing can beat a good home cooked meal, unless it comes served with a certain pastry from the famous local Bakery.

The local baker in question is Bird’s bakery, a name spoken with the highest esteem and usually followed by a sigh of fond memories. Their products often form the benchmark for anything similar, with two products especially that cause instant salivation. These two are their sausages; I have yet to find a banger that even comes close to beating them. Then in the dessert corner their Elephant’s foot cake (not as grotesque or illegal as it sounds!)

Even the boxes look elegant, simple yet amazing

Today’s review is of said Elephant’s foot, I’ll try for something more than “Oh God Yes!!!” I’ll begin by describing it, essentially it is a big round éclair yet it’s so much more. A dome of beautifully delicate puff pastry severed in two and filled with home-made fresh whipped cream. Somehow this cream is both sweet and light in a way no other whipped cream I’ve ever tasted is. The dome is then covered in a generous layer of thick and gooey milk chocolate that’s set to fudge like consistency. In all its perfection on a plate, to be served alone as any compliment would be an insult.

I love to savour these obviously, and when such care has been taken to craft such treat I’ve developed a certain ritual. I start with the bottom half topped with the cream. Then once that’s been finished and every speck of creams gone I start on the top, working my way around the edge in a spiral like motion to the epicentre of chocolate. This may sound extreme but it make these bad boys last.

Take it in while it lasts, which won't be for long!

The pastry is light and airy that you barely feel any weight on the fork; it carries a very subtle taste that’s never stale. When mixed with the cream a light sugary taste is added that somehow doesn’t feel any heavier than without it. A delicately milky cream taste is the aftertaste once the sugars gone. It’s somehow deliciously creamy without being sickly sweet or making you feel guilty for indulging.

The top half is slightly thinner and yet made heavier by the chocolate. It’s thick and fudgy to the point where a knife is more suited to cutting it than the edge of a fork. Tasting milky and very chocolaty it melts in your mouth perfectly leaving the pastry behind with a chocolate hint to it. Whilst I do separate the layers like an insane person, if taken all in at once is just as good. As all the layers complement each other perfectly and never feels like you’re eating too much like most éclairs do. To me though all at once leaves it all over too soon and you can’t quite appreciate the different tastes on offer.

Overall not much else I can say except “Oh God Yes!!”

Score

9 out of 11

Found

Bird's bakery

Final Thought's

Their pig's are fed on the cakes they don't sell is what I've been told.

Macaron Madness!

Hey readers who's a better blogger than me the wonderful Amy Willow, that's who. I've kidnapped her just for you just for today enjoy but don't get used to it.
Hey everyone! I must say I feel rather honoured to be a guest here at Vote Snax-on, and I have something which I think is pretty special to share with you all. Sweets aren’t exactly my forte like they are Roy’s, however, I am rather partial to one of these when I come by them:

My precious.....

Oh yes, the wondrous macaron! For those of you who don’t know, a macaron (not to be confused with macaroon, the sickly coconut, chocolate things with rice paper on the bottom that you find in most supermarkets over here) is a pair of light almond flavoured biscuits sandwiched together by some sort of cream or jam. However, they are not just plain almond flavour, oh no. They come in a variety of flavours, but all have that basic nutty taste underneath which is what makes them so yummy.

I’ve always found macarons hard to come by, probably on account of living out in the sticks. But I’ve always had a weird obsession with them, which I must admit could stem from how pretty they are. I mean, they’re freakin’ rainbow coloured, look at them! To my surprise and joy when I last went into my nearest city I discovered that a Patisserie Valerie, a chain of classy French cafes, had opened up and they sold macarons.This makes sense as macarons are from France, although they are also popular in Japan (but over there they are spelled with a ‘k’ as you cannot write a ‘c’ by itself in Japanese. Random fact right there!) So anyway, of course I had to buy some. They came all wrapped up in cellophane and a cute paper bag, so swish.

I felt very fancy carrying this bag!

I got six macarons in total, one of each flavour they do: raspberry, coffee, lemon, vanilla, chocolate and pistachio. I was surprised that the pink one was raspberry as usually pink macarons are rose flavoured, but this only made me more eager to try it. When I opened the bag I was hit by the soft, sweet scents of almond and sugar. Not overpowering, just subtle enough to be pleasant and enticing.

I felt like I should take some in depth photos for this review, so here you go:

If I didn't know better I'd say this was wasabi!

Dissection time...

It took me a few days to munch my way through them all, but I have to say that the lemon one was my favourite. It was refreshing in the way that only citrus is, and had a proper fruity taste which was not at all synthetic. All of the macarons were like this though; they all tasted like of exactly what they were supposed to with no hint of anything fake or dodgy. However, I found the chocolate and coffee ones very rich and the chocolate especially was quite sickly and heavy. Instead of a thin cream in the middle like the others it had a dark chocolate paste which was highly cocoa-y and so pretty bland. The raspberry one too was a bit of a let down. It was nicely fruity like the lemon, but the jam holding it together was sticky and more sugary than fruity. The vanilla and pistachio ones made up for it though! Despite the unappealing green colour of the pistachio it had a brilliant nutty flavour on account of the underlying almond, and the cream was soft and refreshing like in the lemon one. The vanilla too, although slightly more basic in flavour, was light and satisfying. Plus they all had that great crumbly, melt in the mouth texture. Crunchy, yet squidgy. Aerated sponge encased by brittle, almond-y sugar. Perfection.

All in all I was definitely impressed with Patisserie Valerie. At least they make their macarons properly, even if some of the flavours aren’t to my liking. I’m sure someone else might appreciate thick jam and seductive dark chocolate. I would buy macarons from here again for sure.

And a word of warning: if I ever go to Japan and encounter a shop full of these then you will hear the squeals as far away as Pluto.

My Neighbour Makaron!

Thank you to Roy for letting me post, it’s been really fun! And keep reading his blog and supporting him because y’know, he’s pretty damn awesome.

Take care, readers!

Score
8.5 out of 11

Found
Patisserie Valerie

Final Thoughts
I want to make pumpkin macarons. And put them in fancy paper bags.

Roy's Final Thoughts
You guys should check out Amy Willow's blog here
Also follow her twitterage @amywillowwrites 
(she's so much more professional, she has her own sign off danmit!!!)