Turkish Delight time

So last week marked the start of lent. I myself am giving something up, not out of any religious belief. No, I give up something because I am rather stubborn and enjoy a good challenge.

What have I given up? Well I hope you’re sitting down for this… I’m giving up the sweet cocoa ambrosia itself, chocolate! Shocking I know and many of you may shout impossible or fear for my wellbeing. Fear not friends, this is my fourth year of giving up the smooth stuff that pretty much flows through my veins. Two of these three previous attempts have been successful. The first time in fact went so well it stretched until Christmas! Last year was the failure and I only lasted a week before caving to my craving. It wasn’t my fault a friend made me do it. Honest!

So what can I possibly be reviewing as a result? Well not chocolate clearly as that’s well and truly out the window for the time being. But fear not I present to you some uncoated Turkish delight.  Weirdly though a firm lover of jelly and general gummy-ness I have never given it the time of day, until now that is. Before I have often been a bit turned off by the perfume aroma, it smelled a bit too much like soap or Grandma. Neither of which were really that mouth-watering as prospects go.

However due to recent developments I found and purchased this box thinking it’s time to take a dive into Turkish territory (should probably rephrase that as it’s rather controversial topic that!). Anyway this box doesn’t just contain the regular Rose flavour, No! It has lemon too! So without further ado and a lack of sugar I pop one in my mouth, pausing only to take in the soapy smell.

I take a Rose one first and am immediately surprised at the gummy texture. It’s quite pleasant and an odd mixture of gummy bear and rubber. Whilst this doesn’t exactly sound nice I kind of like it. Perhaps the chocolate shortage has caused me to go mad… madder. People have told me in the past that the texture is the turn off, too rubbery but I find it’s rather like a slightly warm wine gum. Not too chewy either as it melts really quickly and smoothly in the mouth. The taste isn’t too bad either with a nice Rose hint without being over powering or like swallowing washing powder. The lemon was just as great with a nice subtle sweet taste unlike the usual bitterness.

Overall both were nice, a reason I like to break the odd habit every now and then. You never know what you’re missing out on.

Score
Rose - 6 out of 11
Lemon - 6 out of 11

Found
Lidl

Final Thoughts
Sorry for the late post, still rather busy and lacking the usual chocolate sugar rushes.

Lindor Strawberries & Cream

So today is my birthday, the day when I deserve to do whatever I want to! Want to know what I choose? Well being a now 21 year old student at university I think the answer is pretty much expected. I want to stay in doors eat chocolate and blog about it. Admittedly not the most exciting ways to celebrate but considering the weather today and my boring nature I think it's rather understandable.

Plus there is some excitement to be had indoors, actually quite a lot, in fact most excitement happens in doors. Anyway back on task, yes there is excitement to be had. As I have found the elusive Lindor Strawberries and Cream limited edition I mentioned in my last post. Admittedly it didn't take me long, although I bought them from somewhere selling them at practically double the price of Sainsbury's. I hope that they are worth it, if not I'll be doubly depressed in money and taste buds.

What a beautiful day!

To be on the safe side at the same time I also purchased a box of the coconut Lindor's too, again at a slightly inflated price. Then again I am a sucker for an impulse buy and still have access to a student loan, lets face it who needs good food when baked beans are 25 pence? So first up the coconut Lindor's in their baby blue foil. which after unwrapping allows me to take in a very sweet coconut aroma that signals good times ahead.

For once the coloring isn't dictating gender

Biting through the usual thick and creamy milk chocolate shell, easily melting like fudge on the tongue I gain access to the coconut core. A smooth and also creamy ganache which whilst appearing solid has a thick liquid like texture to it. The taste of coconut is intense and very sweet without becoming sickly. Together the flavours become very rich and suffer from Lindor's usual problem of feeling a bit heavy. I often can't and won't have more than a couple at a time because they can become sickly and filling.

This won't, however, stop me from popping the next one in my mouth. Contrasting the baby blue theme with a pale pink I unwrap the foil. The smell isn't quite as powerful with only a hint of strawberry. Throwing one in my mouth whole in excitement I'm met with an amazing taste of subtly sweet strawberry and milky white chocolate. Whilst not tasting exactly as it title suggests, more of strawberry milkshake than the summer dessert, it still tastes amazing. I hope this one isn't too much of a limited edition and carries on long after valentines day.

Though I didn't feel very manly nomming these, damn you society!

Overall both were nice if a little expensive. It's my own fault I could probably have got these on offer in in a week, but it is my special day so I pampered myself.
poundland

Score
coconut 7 out of 11
strawberries 8 out of 11

Found
Superdrugs

Final Thoughts
Celebrating birthdays always seem odd to me, yay I survived another day... Again!

Thorton's Strawberry Heart Lolly

It’s an odd time for chocolate at the moment, a time when the confectionary aisle has developed the worrying traits of split personality disorder. There seems to be a battle going on between the forces of Valentine’s Day and Easter. Retailers aren’t quite sure which to focus on. Add to that the problem of left over Christmas stock (and god-forbid Halloween) you have a three way war on my attention and my wallet.

                It’s Valentine’s Day that’s the problem, you see it is only one day so understandably they don’t want to prepare too much, except unlike Halloween it’s a single day that is very heavily gift orientated. It’s odd how us humans can take a concept of love and easily interweave that with money. Essentially the day is proving you love someone with items, which ironically is against its very idea. However this is a rather negative way of looking at it and hay ho it also means lots of lovely chocolate!

They won't evade capture for long!

                I’ve seen the usual influx of new and limited products sweeping the shelves in anticipation of the big day, the one I most want to try is Lindor’s strawberry and cream. It seems however everyone else has the same wish and I find that the shelf is bare when I go to grab a box. As you can imagine this leaves me slightly disappointed and with a hole inside, a hole only chocolate can fill. For instance the other day on finding a lack of product I consoled myself with a Thornton’s strawberry and white chocolate love heart. These are pretty big too so it definitely cheered me up after the devastating lack of Lindor.

                They look nice and obviously fittingly themed and shaped, although the fact that it’s on a stick worries me. It’s a rather horrific idea if you think about this in another way. I get the obvious symbolism of, here (insert loved ones name) take my love (represented by heart shape).  Lovely on the face of it, except in this instance they will then devour your love leaving you with a stick and a wrapper ready for the bin. Perhaps I’m thinking too much or maybe I’m just a terrible cynic.

Mine didn't last long enough for photos

                As a chocolate it’s nice though so I’d quite happily devour it. Really this is just a re-sized and re-shaped Thornton’s strawberry smile, but those taste great anyway so I’m not complaining. It has a great sweet fruity aroma which carries through to the taste. As soon as you bite down you get a beautifully sweet strawberry taste that’s neither over powering nor artificial. It melts perfectly too with the texture of cream, fitting rather considering the age old British summer tradition. The mix with the white chocolate is what provides the delicious texture and creamy aftertaste that thankfully doesn’t distract from the fruit taste.

                Overall these Valentine’s Day treats are great and it will be a shame once they have left us alone and seeking comfort in a weeks’ time. Then I will need consoling again, this time I’m thinking mini-eggs!

Score
7 out of 11

Found
Superdrug

Final Thoughts
By Easter is Christmas chocolate retro?

Lebkuchen

Right before you call me dull, boring or worse still a liar, let me have a chance to defend myself. Yes these are basically ginger biscuits and I did indeed suggest I'd at least take a break from such things; however I have reasons (or excuses). Firstly these are technically Lebkuchen and very traditional. Secondly they are more cakey and iced in chocolate. Lastly they are German and as I mentioned before makes them even more festive.

But before we get to them let us go nuts for well... Nuts! Caramelized almonds to be exact. In the last few months I've discovered a lifelong hatred of nuts was rather unfounded and have since been obsessed with making up for lost time. These things are one of those times that make me weep for such missed opportunities, what’s better than a roasted almond? One coated in sugar and then cooked that’s what.

 

More cake than biscuit

These really are great the outside is crispy and tastes of caramelized sugar, hardly a surprise really considering their name. The nut inside has been cooked and roasted well too. The combination created between sweet and savory is great with an epic crunch too for good measure. Now I have had these freshly roasted at a market and that was an experience I can tell you. These are the supermarket equivalent and despite being slightly smaller and not warm are still a delicious and probably dangerous for your health treat.

Next we have the main event, Lebkuchen. Whilst I started by saying these are more gingerbread cookies I think they are much more like a cake, true even more when you consider they usually come coated in icing. These that I have don't, instead these are covered in dark chocolate and have a rice paper base. All the layers have something in common, the fact that they all melt in the mouth nicely. The dark chocolate isn't the usual plain and bitter taste; instead it tastes nicely sweet and works well. This probably means it isn't a good quality example but that doesn't matter all the time.

Like little pebbles of joy

The cake itself isn't very gingery at all, and at this point I would start complaining. I would that is if it mattered which it doesn't. These are meant to taste fruitier than fiery I think which with the fruit peel mixed in definitely delivers. The peel itself mixes well with the chocolate topping and at times creates a Chocolate orange type of taste. These are great all round and such a shame they will soon be much missed from the shelves. They go well with a cup of tea too, multi-talented guys these.

Lastly is an odd concept, hot chocolate kit for two. Yes, on the face of it that seems a good idea right? It is a season for couples to conspire beneath the fire ECT. I would agree too, except this range comes from Toys'R'Us. Yeah things just got weird.

Overall Lebkuchen is amazing and the nuts too and make me realize I'm going to miss some of these fleeting festive treats. But then if we had them all year round they wouldn't be special.

Score

Lebkuchen - 8 out of 11

Caramelized Almonds - 7.5 out 11

Found

Both were found in Lidl

Final Thoughts

Germany really have this Christmas thing down to a T.

Curious Christmas combination

I know what you’re wondering, what could possibly have STOLLEN my attention today? Well I have a plethora of pleasantries for pursuing. I know that alliteration there was so good right, it really took the CAKE. Okay I’m going to stop with the terrible hint puns before you think me a right PUDDING. I must be driving you NUTS.

                

Definitely stopping after that one as in all honesty the one the nuts pun refers to isn’t too nut centric. Moving swiftly on for we have a few to get through today I’ll begin with the Stollen. Probably the most traditional of the four as not only is it festive but it is also German. As I have talked about before Germany is where most of our holiday hang ups originate from. Surely that makes this cake about as festive as you can get.

Thankfully it was only a small slice

 It’s an odd one too the cakes themselves are an amalgamation of soft pastry, fruit and marzipan. An odd combination that actually tastes rather nice, and like this one if made well creates an interesting cooling sensation in the mouth befitting of the season. The pastry is soft and moist and melts nicely on the tongue. The marzipan tastes of sweetened almonds and gives the pastry a nice sugary kick. Then the fruit and spice mixture brings the usual festive tastes that are ever present on our tongues right now. Altogether it creates a great Christmas treat that in my opinion I nicer than what we have adopted.

               

 Over here in England we have Christmas cake, not as fun to say and nowhere near as nice to eat. A combination of fruit, suit and breadcrumbs creating an often dry fruit cake base topped with marzipan and the royal icing. I’m really not a fan, usually when presented with these cakes I tend to eat the icing and marzipan and little else. I find it too dry and dull for my likings. To me, cake has to be sweet, moist and mostly chocolate. The version I tried is from Costa and whilst quite nice and more importantly very small still had the dryness and lack of interesting flavours for me.

                

Puddings in disguise

Next we have a deceiver in our midst for this may look like the traditional festive pud topped with sauce and holly, but take a closer look and that holly looks a bit too perfect. Another give away is that it is clearly made from Rice Krispys and chocolate. It’s a cool little thing I saw in local bakery and had to try, after all it is festively themed. However when I got home I was a little worried. The Krispys were falling off a rapid rate and they seemed a bit dull in colour. I realized that the chocolate in the mixture may have been lacking in aid of a batch bake. Undeterred however I tried a chunk and was pleasantly surprised. The cereal at first tasted a bit stale, but that was to be expected. The surprise was how the chocolate mixture tasted rather chocolaty and quite buttery. The combination worked well and tasted of sweet chocolate butter. I can tell you it didn’t last much longer and crumbled away to nothing.

                

With these Raffaellos I am really being spoiled

Lastly we have some snowball like Ferrero Roche’s, or rather their white chocolate coconut brother Raffaello. I never really eat Ferrero Roche’s that much; they aren’t the sort of thing you buy when you want a quick chocolate fix. I also don’t get invited to many Ambassador Balls and so don’t see many of the pyramid offerings of them either. Yet the fact that these versions only appear this time of year made me eager to buy a box just to try. Am I glad I did? Yes, Yes I am. These taste great with a crispy coconut outside a creamy nutty inside and a whole Almond all offered in one hit. They taste very luxurious without being too rich and filling as the regular ones have in the past. These have a great coconut and milky chocolate taste that ends with a great nutty crunch.

                

Overall I love most of today’s products except ironically the one we hold dearest to our hearts in this country. I say we adopt more German traditions and take on the Stollen.

Score

Christmas Stollen -  8 out of 11

Christmas cake - 4 out of 11

Rice Krispy pudding - 6 out of 11

Raffaelo - 9 out of 11

Final Thoughts

Only eight more days left, I can't believe it!

Cider and Apple Christmas Pudding

So after yesterday’s rather spectacular display of shoddiness, (both in respect to the product and if I’m honest my review) today I vow to be better. Bringing something that isn’t just festively themed but also rather special. In fact a lot about this product is special to me.

Firstly I placed this item at the Christmas market that I mentioned a few posts ago, from a wooden chalet selling nothing but Christmas puddings. Not just one varieties though, oh no, these were specialists boasting four different ones. That in itself was rather special, as someone who isn’t a massive fan of Christmas puds I don’t pay much attention to developments in the field. As far as I know there’s normal and the other one (literally basing this on the coloured bowls differences you see in the supermarkets). These deserved my attention however so I took a peek and as my housemates and I wanted to we purchased a cider and apple pudding lump.

I do love the name of the company very rhythmic! 

If I’m honest things were looking rather bleak for me. It was a majority vote on the one we wanted and I was in the minority. I don’t particularly like cider; I find it a bit too sweet although I do like apples, odd to say the least. Still it was one we bought together so I would endeavour to try it anyway. Plus in doing so I get to review something slightly different from the usual mix of chocolate and biscuit.

It was also special because the pudding was the way to round off our house Christmas dinner which I was making. I’m pretty proud of my cooking prowess and of my dishes mu stew is one of the Supremes (second only perhaps to my spag bol or French onion soup). The stew tasted amazing and the dumplings some of the best I have ever produced I believe. Everyone seemed to agree though they may have slipped it in the plant pot when I turned around. Having said that our plant has been looking a bit ill lately. Then came the piece de pudding for everyone which I prepared traditionally by steaming. I didn’t follow through with the other tradition where you put a coin in it for some lucky bugger. I didn’t want to kill anyone for Christmas after all.

Why do so many look forward to this sight every year?

The pudding didn’t look as I had imagined and was much darker than I remember puddings to be. It didn’t seem to be so currant filled and breadcrumy as I am used to. The pudding tasted ok, sadly not amazing but not bad. A bit too much cider for my liking, which overpowered all the other flavour somewhat. It was a bit stodgier too and felt rather heavy. The cream went well with it though but not as nice as the regular puddings. Still the meal was great, we pulled crackers, shared jokes and almost offended each other to the point of breaking down. Basically it was what Christmas meals are meant to be.

I know it may seem to you guys as though we celebrated a tad too early but our household isn’t the most organised and soon we all leave for our respective families. We tend to plan big events a week in advance as often something arises. This kind of backfired in that we managed to keep our plans this time. Still it was Christmassy and everyone else loved the pudding.

Overall the stew was great, the pudding meh but the evening was magical. Wow I feel soppy, how much more festive can you get?

Score

Christmas pudding - 5 out of 11

Evening - 10 out of 11

Found

'German' Christmas market

Final Thoughts

Amazing friends are amazing.

Foxes Cherry Cheesecake and Honeycomb-crunch Fingers

Guess what guys! Today's review is back to biscuits, okay wait before you flip your table in uproar at least hear me out. I do have a reason for going back on my statements from yesterdays review. Basically these two items are either on sale right now or limited edition. (coincidental tumbleweed of uncaring happens)

Fine! I know it is a feeble excuse for going back on my word, but you know what? I don't care, I love biscuits. Hell, I bet you love biscuits and anyway they aren't ginger biscuits again so at least there is some variety here.

 

Vinnie looks mighty proud of his "bisquits" (Advert reference)

The two items in question are completely different in their use too. One is aimed at snacking, pretty much to be shared in a group type function like an ambassador ball (or more likely film night). The other is more along the line of my usual biscuit binge, as an accompaniment to my caffeinated beverage at lunch.

I'll start with he biscuit that was on offer, mainly because it's not new just on offer so I get a sweet treat at a discount price. Win, win in my eyes. These are a sharing bag of Cadbury's mini fingers and not just any mini fingers but HONEYCOMB CRUNCH fingers. I know your excited now right. So without further ado or cup in hand I chomp down on these bizarre biscuit. They are definitely crunchy too, a great taste too when bitten into. The milk chocolate is sweet but not too sweet that the subtle honey flavour underneath can't get through. It has a nice toffee taste to it and is similar to the chocolate coated cinder toffee I tried before.

If left to melt you can fully enjoy the great Cabury's milk chocolate but with an added biscuit tinge. It's not quite as sweet as usual but this is as I've said good as it allows the honeycomb to step in. The biscuit beneath doesn't really do much on the tongue and isn't absorbent in any useful way for it to be dunked. Still a really nice biscuit great for sharing, especially with the re-seal able bag aspect. Although I doubt you will need it!

Next up with have one of Foxes new American orientated biscuits. Four limited edition flavours that Vinnie the Panda (Don't ask) hopes will invoke a taste of the Atlantic in our mouths. This is the flavour that most appealed to me and is Cherry cheesecake Jammy Dodgers. Which is odd as Jammy Dodgers are one of my least favorite biscuit around. Too much biscuit not enough filling. However, the idea of cherry cheesecake definitely appeals to me.

 

Amazingly exercised cross section display here... perfect separation

Am I glad it did catch my eye? You be I am! These taste great and I hope that they keep the range gong for a while or even add to them. The cream filling doesn't really taste cheesy, more like a vanilla butter-cream flavour. A bit too sweet on it's own. The jam has a very powerful and nicely tart cherry taste that compliments the creams sweetness. The digestive biscuit doesn't really have flavour of it's own but that's not a bad thing considering the mix already on offer.

Overall both of these biscuits are great. I would definitely recommend the American range whilst it is available. As for the fingers if you have a party coming up then these are bound to be favorites and enough to go around too.

Score 

Finger's 5 out of 11

Cherry Pie 8 out of 11

Found

Sainsbury's

Final Thoughts

Why does a Panda have an American gangster character type? Also why is a Panda the mascot for Foxe's bisquits?

Lemon and Slime- bad pun time!

Ok, so yesterday proved two things. One that I have built up a rather impressive stash of Halloween treats for you guys. Two thankfully I can and will be reviewing several of them in one post from now on in order to catch up with myself. Today we have two items that have both been waiting for their time in the spotlight for a while and deserve to be heard.

They are both however Halloween varieties of Halloween items so sadly I’m not expecting much from either of them. Although both have some differences that may make a difference but nothing unique or new on show here. That seems to be a running theme at the moment; it’s a great opportunity for a company is Halloween. We don’t care about the holiday enough over here to justify totally new ideas, so brands can just alter their packaging to suit the season and little else.

Bit disappointing the plain outside!

Thankfully with Christmas we are a bit pickier and new products seem to arrive, or old ones reappear that get the dust brushed off them when the festivities take them. For instance Cadbury snow bites a chocolate treat I love but only get to experience once the snow starts a dropping.

The first item up today however is something I don’t actually mind they don’t change too much as I love the regular item anyway. It’s a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin, it’s by Reese’s so I already know I’ll love it and the less they mess with their formula the happier I am. As soon as I take it out the packet I’m a happy undead bunny (if I were alive it might be too much like Easter!). I’m greeted by a lovely chocolate and peanut butter aroma and the chocolate on the outside is slightly melted and gooey, both are very good signs.

Though the sheer amount of filling makes up for looks

I snap it in half to judge the chocolate to peanut ratio is on offer here and I am surprised instantly. The peanut butter seems to make up the majority of this much thicker than their usual cups. My mouth starts a watering at this and I can’t keep myself from it for too long. I bite in and find the chocolate has great fudge like texture although a disappointing lack of flavour. This is made up immediately however by the amazing as always peanut butter. A lovely nutty sweet, yet salty taste that takes over the chocolate flavour immediately. No wonder with such a thick slab too, it’s not been blended too fine either so you get tiny little nutty bits for added texture.

It’s good but I’m not sure it’s up to their usual quality and nowhere near as amazing as my favourite white chocolate cups. I think they have definitely sacrificed some of the chocolate quality and quantity here. On the flipside the peanut butter is better and more than usual so it kind of balances out. At least they haven’t scrimped on quality too much here. One thing I am slightly disappointed about however is the lack of design on the item itself. I was expecting a jack-o’-lantern type face to be on the surface but unfortunately it’s rather plain.

Impromptu photographic skills required in the field

The next item I have is a festive edition of much loved Jaffa cakes. By the way in case you wondered these are definitely cakes and not biscuits as many believe (Biscuits go soft when stale, these like cakes go hard #science). These are quite a cool idea as these Halloween editions have a different flavoured jelly, instead of the normal orange we have lemon and lime (sorry SLIME, get it) on offer here. McVities are really impressing me with the effort they are making towards Halloween as there digestives yesterday did well too. These taste great the new flavour really compliments the basic formula well and the flavour seems to have infused with the sponge. I hope this isn’t a passing visit as I’d like this to become a regular variety. Having said that if it did it would make the product no better than the other products I chastise for not changing.

Overall I was happy with both of these products, although if we are honest the Reese’s was the same basic cup but I didn’t complain because of favouritism. Secondly my thought on the new flavour becoming available all year round would create the problem I complain about. Can we ever truly be happy?

 Score

Pumpkin- 6 out of 11

Jaffa CAKE- 8 out of 11

Found

Pumpkin is from a local sweet shop that sells American sweets, the Jaffa Cakes I got from Sainsbury's but are widely available.

Final Thoughts

Wow I am a bit of a hypocrite this week aren't I?

How to really phone it in!

No need to fret folks we are back to normal as of today. Ok so not normal, and not really right back to normal just kinda not like yesterday. I mean I could never truly be normal could I? Also what is normality anyway? Surely it’s subjective and we should all stop finding that perfect normal. Maybe I’m rambling on an odd tangent for a sweet blog. Maybe I kinda like it.

Anyway, to explain oneself. By back to normal I mean back to sweets, unlike yesterday when we had a savoury experience. Of course I’m also not completely back to normal just yet as it still isn’t Halloween which means there’s plenty more Halloween stuff to scour through. Todays review also isn’t back to Marks and Spencer’s territory, I’ll save the last product for a few days.

Somethings not quite right here

There is a reason for this although don’t start thinking it’s to raise tension and that there’s some big payoff. No that comes with the final post where I have a big surprise for you all on the wicked night itself. I bet you can’t wait! If that thought has got you excited and wetting yourself then I’m sorry. Sorry but you need to get out more and while your there buy some adult diapers.

Geez another tangent, time I got on with the review. Anyway today we have a Halloween themed version of a product that not long came out over here in Blighty. Maynard’s Sour patch Kidz have really only been around for under a year I think. They have proved quite popular and at one point all the shops in my area had sold out. Already we have had additions to the line in the form of Soda Popz, now we have Heads and bodies for October’s festive period.

Somehow I think sour should be in inverted commas

Basically they are the same as usual except the heads have been cut off these patch kidz. It’s no wonder their sour then ‘haha great pun there!’ I hear you roar. Rather disappointedly is that in losing their head they have also somehow lost their range of flavours? As these Halloween themed offerings only come in blackcurrant and orange flavour. Further disappointment came to me because my bag was lacking in blackcurrant heads. In fact I had only two blackcurrant pieces in the whole bag! Somehow to avoid opening the racism door we should move on quickly and not dwell.

I popped one of the abundant orange pieces in my gob and was struck immediately. Not however as you’d imagine by how sour they were, no my face didn’t twist into an unearthly shape. As there is literally hardly any sourness on offer here what so ever. The sour coating melts away in seconds and has nowhere near the punch of the regular range. The orange underneath was very strong too which didn’t help as it overpowered any tastes that preceeded it. It didn’t have the old artificial sweetener taste which is a bonus, however it still didn’t taste like orange. More like undiluted orange squash, in a rather unpleasant burns your mouth kind of way.

Had to make Popcorn cake to cheer myself up

I moved on once the flavour had gone (about four days later) to try one of the blackcurrant pieces. Again the sour coating dissolves in seconds and you barely notice it’s been. The blackcurrant itself is thankfully a little less powerful than the orange so it doesn’t blow your head off. Again doesn’t actually taste of natural blackcurrant more like how a stepford wife version would taste of. Perfect in every way and therein lies the problem.

These are rather disappointing on several levels. Firstly, only two flavours on offer. Really they could have had the usual range at least. Not only are they phoning it in for Halloween here, they are phoning in sick and not even fake coughing! Secondly what has happened to the sour coating? The regular varieties while not amazingly sour like Toxic Waste do at least have some kick in them. Lastly I kinda feel like taking the heads off deprives us all of the rather guilty pleasure we all share in eating humanoid food. Biting the heads off! I had to settle for gnawing on a leg!

Overall this is a rather poor effort for a range that was showing promise. Let’s hope it’s only a temporary setback and we don’t end up with Santa shapes in only cherry for Christmas.

Score
5 out of 11

Found
Local Co-Operative shop, but they are everywhere.

Final Thoughts
Why are the heads so enlarged too? What happened prior to separation?

Candy Blood Bag

I’ve reached a worrying point in this review. I have real concerns that today’s item could do me some serious harm. Perhaps if it does and I do go belly up after consuming this… interesting specimen I’ll be in the ground in enough time to rise again on the big night itself (Halloween). If the worst does happen I hope you, my valued and varied reader knows that I did it for them.

Furthermore I hope someone will pick up my mantle and carry forth the torch o everything I stand for. To be honest it will be a pretty easy task as I stand for very little (I don’t even give up my seat on the train). What could possibly be causing me to have such concerns for my health? Is it worth it? Not really to be honest but in the interest of my self-made challenge when I saw this for as little as a pound I had to purchase. It’s an interesting item to say the least, it’s a blood bag!

To be fair on them they put effort in.

 Before you all throw up your breakfast I’ll point out this is a candy blood bad containing what it claims to be strawberry flavour liquid candy. This is a first for this blog so at least if this challenge item does kill me it has done its job in getting me to try new things. While this looks like a product I wouldn’t trust usually I must commend them on getting into the fun of the festivities. From the packaging to the product itself the thing screams Halloween.

The brand is called Murder Motel, which makes me wonder what they produce the rest of the year. I can’t imagine that one good season can cover them for the entire year. There are a few “hilarious” puns too. It’s apparently owned by DR. Acula, oh as in Dracula. I see what you did there how witty, Oscar Wilde would be green with envy at not thinking this himself. Furthermore it appears to be the blood of victim no. 505 AKA Will B.Back, pure genius clearly. The best joke however is the slight attempt to appear healthy with the proud proclamation that it’s “Fat Free” that’s hilarious. I did notice on the back the notice that “E129 may have an adverse effect on activity and attention in children. OH GOD, WHAT WILL IT DO TO ME THEN!

Yeah, doesn't look too confidence filling

 I can’t put it off any longer and in the interest of science and all things candy blogging I snip the end off and prepare myself. Sucking on the end I watch the gooey substance slowly inch towards my mouth. The build-up and tension is killing me, what the hell is this stuff? Why it is so slow and why am I doing this? Then it hits me!

It tastes about as expected, terrible. Although initially not too bad I thought perhaps I had misjudged it, then realisation comes in. It tastes sickly and sour and way too syrupy, like drinking pure sugar water with some artificial strawberry flavouring added for bad luck. Which I fear is essentially what it is. It gets worse as once it hits your throat it creates a burning sensation. Needless to say this went in the bin quickly and definitely won’t B.Back (see what I did there).

Overall this is terrible but then again I knew it would be. I bought it because it was cheap and I have yet to review anything liquid based. I’m really regretting this decision. Hope you guys appreciated this, because I didn't.

Score

2 out of 11

Found

Halloween section in a newsagents

Final Thoughts

If the Overlook had been named Murder Motel perhaps the shining would have been completely different!

Monster Mash Well Jelly Really I Guess

Ok so far in my Halloween challenge we have had biscuits, chocolate and trepidation. I notice something missing there and in fact something that’s worryingly rare for my blog as a whole. Can you guess what? If not why not go back and read all my posts again, go on you know you want to.

For those of you not wanting to trawl through my blogging archive (I don’t blame you) I’ll give you the answer. My blog is frightfully devoid of all things chewy, it seems that I have rather favoured chocolates above all. So when I saw these monstrously cool looking lollipops I thought what better time to start to chew.

The monster looks a bit uncomfortable, there is a reason for this.

Today’s products are described as marshmallow and jelly decorated lollipops, they are essentially those jelly sweets with the hard icing on top. They don’t exactly appeal too many but in a weird way I find the crunch and taste of the cheap icing rather pleasing. I found two packs of two and an offer that allowed me to justify purchasing both at once happy days are here again folks.

So we have four different beasties here a bat, a witch, Frankenstein’s MONSTER (guys it’s not Frankenstein he’s the scientist!!!) and a mummy. They all look rather cool although the witch looks a bit orange and cheerful to be an evil witch perhaps she’s just a trick or treater. These are actually pretty impressive for their price as each is a different fruit flavour too. Some are a bit devoid of icing the monster particularly is mainly jelly but to be honest the designs are nicely done without it.

Which Witch is which? Hint- The one on the left.

First up I tried the bat, he is the most “frightening” of all four so I thought I’d better kill him off quick. It tasted how I remember these jelly type pops to taste. Rather sugary with a nice squishy texture that melts well and with the icing on top that adds an impressive crunch. I was surprised by how nice the blackcurrant taste is. Not too sugary and not too artificial, a nice balance has been struck. It has been a while since I’ve had these lollys. Perhaps significant developments have gone on in the field. It is after all an essential if we want our society to flourish!

Next up I tried the monster, unfortunately he fell off his stick. However I can’t really blame him the stick had been strategically placed where the sun doesn’t shine. He must have annoyed the moulder somewhat to deserve this cruel and rather unusual punishment. I didn’t have the heart to resign him to the torment and instead bit off his head! He didn’t have any real flavour to him unfortunately to the point where I couldn’t even tell what he was supposed to be. Added to this the lack of icing which seemed to just be his socks meant he was rather dull as dishwater.

Attack bat gets his own photo shoot, blatant favoritism

The witch went next, another good quality fruity jelly. She had a taste of Tangerine weirdly not normal Orange, a bit too sweet perhaps. Not artificially sugary, so still quite nice. She had the most icing too which I relished in. Lastly we had the mummy, the biggest of the lot of them it had a nice design. Although the eyes were a bit odd and looked more like a pig snout. When I bit in I found a nice and subtle Vanilla marshmallow taste which made a nice change from the fruit. Could have been a bit stronger perhaps, but otherwise really nice.

Overall I was impressed by these lollipop offerings especially as they are on offer. My favourite by far was the blackcurrant bat who boasted a nice flavour and good amount of icing. However all were well designed and didn’t have the artificial taste I had expected.

Score

8 out of 11

Found

Tesco's Halloween aisle on offer now!

Final Thoughts

I think all this sugars going to have me bouncing off the castle walls.

Chocolate, Boring? NEVER!

How can chocolate ever be boring? That’s what I asked myself immediately as I read an article on the internet. (I know you shouldn’t question anything on the web but it provoked a response) The writer at one point described the chocolates by the retailer known as Thornton’s as dull and in need of a facelift if it wants to continue being successful. Is this writer insane? If it contains cocoa how can something be boring?

Then I thought a bit more and realised something. I hadn’t been into a Thornton’s in years, I glimpsed them out the corner of my eyes but never felt even an urge to enter. Maybe the author had a point. In these times when chocolate is becoming rather adventurous either through the gimmicky, like Cadburys marvellous range. Or the extravagant like the ranges of dark Guatemalan miracle bean and giant bird island red chilli (not a real one FYI). Perhaps it will leave the old fashioned and ever reliable brands in the wayside. Surely however Thornton’s must be keeping an eye on the trend and doing there bit so why hadn’t I been paying attention to any of their developments?

Thornton's is actually celebrating 100 years! 

Firstly as I’m sure like most of you when I think of Thornton’s I think of gift boxes. It’s never been a place you go for a bar to get you through the day. They have a special air about their sweets that you don’t buy them for yourself, not a bad thing obviously as it does make them special when you receive them. Secondly as the writer pointed out their stock and image never seems to change. I had to agree, all those times I walked by I never saw any change in shop layout or colour scheme. Worse still is that I never see them promoting any new lines or products extensively. Think of a Thornton’s chocolate you’ve had readers, I bet they still stock it in some form or another.

I thought I should at least give them a chance and step inside next time I passed. The interior was exactly the same as the last time I had entered a Thornton’s (it wasn’t even the same one either). Still rather beige with a hint of brown, the walls lined with selection boxes and gift plaques. However this is because that’s what your eyes are drawn to, taking a closer inspection I found kids chocolate and a few bars I could be tempted to snack on. However even these still had rather expensive looking packaging that made me want to give it away and not be selfish.

Whilst there I spied something that cheered me up as always, free samples. On the counter was a silver plate of their smiles range to try. So I did and gobbled down a strawberry smile which tasted great. Great flavour melted well in my mouth and left behind some seed like pips that gave it an interesting texture. They were nice and simple enough for me to be tempted to buy a bag, I didn’t as the bags were large and I knew I’d get bored of them. That’s not the whole review I’m afraid, no we are still in the preamble.

A modern Thornton's, compare the photos folks. Spot the differences.

As not only had I acquired some free chocolate, I had also picked up a sense of guilt. The member of staff eyed me from behind the counter and asked if there was anything I wanted. I knew in my heart nothing really inspired me to buy but I couldn’t leave. She would think I just came in for the sample, that’s basically theft! I panicked and said small chocolate bars; she gave me a funny look and pointed to the rather obvious section containing smaller bars. I hurriedly looked for anything that took my fancy and found a bar of Lemon white chocolate and popping candy. That spelled excitement surely? I paid and left before the sirens began to wail.

The chocolates packaged in a nice cardboard box again it still feels like I should be presenting this not tearing it open to consume at once. Inside the chocolates wrapped in foil which is always nice as it keeps it fresher somehow, this could be a placebo effect however. I unwrapped a corner and break off a chunk. Disappointingly there is no strong smell to it.

See it looks too fancy to not be gifty.

I found it to be silky and smooth, with a nice white chocolate whisper that’s beaten by the lemon taste that hits you first. It’s not too sweet, strong or bitter however and is rather pleasing. It’s like the lemon fondue contained in the gift boxes just more solid and with chocolate mixed in rather than encasing.  The flavour stays a while and when it fades you notice the popping sensation. I find this rather exciting, it reminds me of childhood. Unfortunately the popping candy doesn’t last long. This just means I have to go back for another bite, this chocolate is rather moreish.

Overall I think I proved Thornton’s does contain excitement. It’s just they are very good at concealing it; they could do with promoting their smaller ranges a bit more. Especially any new releases they have as often their window displays are filled with… gifty-ness?

Score

8 out of 11

Found

Ummmm Thornton's?

Final Thought

I guess sawdust chocolate could be boring.

Jelly Belly Bean Day

How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? That famous question/song can never truly be answered can it? Well readers what if I told you that today, in this very review, I will not be answering it either!

What I can offer is what you call someone who goes down the wrong road or more accurately mistakenly walks down a road. He feels bloody stupid is how he feels. I’m clearly speaking from recent experience here, which I’ll explain. Today I visited the lovely village of Howarth, in which I knew resided a sweet shop to trek to. I asked for directions from a greatly helpful café owner and set off on my adventure.

Beautiful, yes. Sweet shop however it is not!

Half an hour into said adventure time I’d reached the edge of town and a field full of uninterested sheep, clearly not what I’d set out for. My doubts about my direction had been growing but I really didn’t want to admit I’d gone wrong. Mainly because there was only one road that went through the village, yet I’d somehow got lost. Now this is good in one way as it meant I could just turn back and ask again for directions. In another way however it meant going back the way I’d came, past the same shops, the same people all of whom would know I’d got lost. I did not feel like a man, I felt a damn fool (not much change really).

This was only made worse when I approached the café and the man who had directed me. Turns out I had turned right when I should have turned left upon exiting. Bless him though for he didn’t laugh at me. At least not to my face.

I did eventually reach the shop and it had been worth my roundabout journey there. With a retro sweets in jars style pick and mix, wooden style décor it looked pretty amazing. These sweet shops are awesome on so many levels and the people who work there often share my passion for sugary goodness. I took a good look around believe me then asked for some recommendations from the owner. When he replied with “something sweet” I could have hugged him.

Not much I can say really, Oranges woo!!!

I ended up buying a packet of Jelly Bean chocolate orange Dips, not unique I know but they were on offer and I have wanted to purchase some. I also pointed to various jars to form a pick and mix bag, because well you just have to.

So the Jelly Beans are on trial today, I’ve seen them before in a chain sweet shop where they were much more expensive. They sounded great, I love chocolate orange but just not at the over inflated price they had wanted. So when this shop had them going cheap I almost bit his arm off (if it had been sugar coated almost certainly so)! Coupled with this is a recent craving for Terry’s Chocolate Oranges I have been experiencing, however they should really only be consumed at Christmas. This makes them special, an annual treat to be savoured like turkey.

When I opened the up I was met with an awesome scent similar to Terry’s but a bit more artificial. My hopes that these could satisfy my cravings for a few months were building. It’s not just the whole pack either; each piece positively reeks of the heavenly combination. My mouth began salivating I don’t mind telling you.

I took one in and immediately got sucking (giggidy). The chocolate melts immediately, and I mean immediately. Honestly it must be paper thin, lovely while it lasts. Blink however and believe me you’ve missed it. For a few seconds though you can achieve a mixture of chocolate orange but just not on par with my desire. The bean underneath is good on its own thankfully, a tangy orange that’s very similar to strong marmalade.

Batten burg update, I bought some... Couldn't help it.

Next I tried chewing one, hoping by mashing them together I could better incorporate the flavours. Unfortunately this soon failed, the chocolate performed even worse. It crumbled away and disappeared with no flavour at all. Worse still when chewed the bean gets stuck in your teeth and flavour wise loses potency. It probably lasted as long as sucking it however, as I was finding it in every crack and crevice.

Overall, these are really nice. Just not enough chocolate and not close enough. I would buy them again only however at the price I paid. I’m glad I missed my first opportunity as the dent to my wallet would have been an insult to injury. I guess I will have to wait until December to truly satisfy my cravings. Although to make it worse Terry’s have released two “limited edition” oranges and a mini bag. Life’s tough sometimes.

Score 
6 out of 11

Found
Mrs Beatton's sweet shop

Final Thoughts
Tomorrow I do battle with Bownessie, anticipation levels rising.

Nano Bytes

This feels pretty important. I mean it’s probably not (certainly not in the grand scheme of things). If I’m honest I feel a bit out of my depth too. Like the kid who’s found Daddy’s work trousers, nothing really fits but it’s a great leap forward none the less. Just a bit too soon.

I better clarify quickly before you all read something else probably about cats. Recently I was contacted by a representative of the “Lots of Little Sweets!” company. They were offering to send me their new product “Nano Bytes” to try and possibly to review. A company approaching me and asking me to try something new absolutely gratis (free) I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t believe it, I assumed initially it was a scam, someone wanted to trick me and harvest my organs. I asked my girlfriend to have a read through, she has all the internet know how between us after all (you can all blame/thank her for this blog!) She confirmed that to her it seemed legit, plus I’d seen other reviewers had also been approached. I quickly replied that I would be honoured to try Nano Bytes and soon they were on their way to me.

The packaging feels rather appropriatly space age and keeps them fresh too!

That’s when it began to sink in. After all I’d been blogging for little over a month by then, it all felt a bit sudden. Why had they chosen me? I felt honoured and excited but at the same time out of my depth. Doubts started to creep. How do I approach this review? Technically they are free, dodgy thoughts of biased reviews sprang to mind. No! I must remain true to my style, my voice and myself (too preachy?) If a company wants me to review their stuff (hint head over to here for more info hint) then they should expect me to be honest. Therefore, dear reader I’d like to assure you that the following review is completely unbiased.

So what are Nano Bytes? Well on the back they reference mini bon bons and call themselves flavoured mini candies. Essentially they are tiny little flavoured chews. When they launch very soon they will be available in bubble-gum, cola and strawberry flavours in packs of 25 grams and 65 grams. I was sent three 65 gram bags to try and believe me they live up to their name of Lots of Little Sweets. They could I should think keep little Timmy happy for a while, although they I rather moreish so watch those handfuls.

I better address the elephant in the room before he tramples me. Aren’t these essentially Millions? Yes pretty much they are, even they current flavours are well within the vast range that Millions offer. However they are cheaper than Millions and hopefully will provide healthy competition in a market rather dominated by one brand. We may see something new emerge if we are lucky, they may have trouble but their price could give them a selling point.

This is literally in the resort I'm staying in both coincidence and shows the problem with how established millions are!

Let’s move on to the review shall we, first up the classic bubble-gum. Quick congratulations on packaging. Coming in space age feeling pouches with a built in reseal able zip lock (much needed). The pieces themselves look like you’d expect like tiny coloured boulders or meteors if you follow the space theme here. I try a handful and chew away, after all these be chewing candy! They have a good strong flavour to them and a very chewy texture. A small handful goes a surprisingly long way and the flavour of bubble-gum is the nice. Not however new or exciting but of good quality.

Next flavour cola is slightly disappointing. Not quite as powerful as the bubble-gum and a bit dull. Tasting worryingly of flat cola, not unpleasant they still have a nice sugary taste. I think something could be done perhaps to make these fizzy; this is also something I haven’t seen in other brands. As they are this flavours a bit dull and my least favourite.

By this point I'd eaten half the bag yet there are still plenty more! Shame its Cola

Lastly we have strawberry; this one was instantly my favourite. Upon opening I was hit with a very strong aroma of artificial sweetness and slightly wary. However once I’d had a handful I was hooked, very moreish. They don’t as you’d expect taste like the fruit strawberry no, they have the very familiar artificial flavour we have associated with the fruit. However I think these are some of the nicest tasting “strawberry flavoured” sweets I’ve tried. Not too sweet and with a hint of something I could relate to the fruit.

Well I’ve got to say (not literally remember unbiased) I like these. I mean I don’t know if I’d buy them as I’m not a big fan of this type of sweet. However given the choice between these and Millions I’d defiantly pick these. Although that’s after trying them and I really think they are going to have problems launching against such an established name. Something they do have over Millions I will mention is a cool little interactive story on their website (Here).

Overall I really like these sweets and would recommend giving the ago at least. I hope they go on and add to their flavours and offer some that will make them stand out. Also some improvement is needed on the cola flavour but the strawberry is just right. 

Score
Cola 6 out of 11
Bubble-gum 7 out of 11
Strawberry 7.5 out of 11

Found
In an envelope on my doorstep.

Final thought
I wonder if they can be used in cooking, I have a lot to get through.