Doughnut Dangers

They say good things come in threes so perhaps todays review will prove this is true. That’s because todays Halloween temptation comes from the bakers doors once again. The baker in question is Gregg’s and after proving me wrong the other day. I decided to tempt fate and be tempted by their monstrous donuts.

Now I’ll confess here, I’m not a fan of donuts. I know, it’s terrible I’m so sorry. As someone who clearly revels in everything sweet you must respect it takes some serious guts to admit to that truth to the world at large. In fact I’ll go so far as to admitting distaste to most things pastry. There’s just something about dough and crusts that disappoint me. I love the fillings however, which puts me in a bit of a quandary. Especially when you factor in the point that often the filling is rather sparse as it’s the most expensive part to make.

His expression says many things scary isn't one of them

After yesterday’s discussion about how I would like to be challenged by you guys to make me step out of the norm, I thought I should compel myself to do so too. This plus the fact that actually these donuts look pretty tasty. Lastly it’s only seventy five pence, can’t go wrong at that price. If it is nice I spied that the doughnut next to it was a banana milkshake one which sounds rather tempting.

One problem I realised straight away is that these are not exactly fresh. As I say I’m not a fan of pastries and about the only time I fancy them is when they are baked fresh and warm. The last donut I had before this was I admit pretty amazing but I think this was more down to the event and the company I was with. Unfortunately this time its wet cold and I’m alone, I should point out I’m just walking to work not like being held hostage although many say it’s pretty much the same thing.

I took a deep bite into this donut straight away, mainly because in experience I’ve found the fillings tend to be rather central so best to get there quick. I was right there was a filling, disappointingly it was just jam. Don’t get me wrong I love jam but considering how the banana one had milkshake in it this is hardly special. To make matters worse the icing on top seems to just be coloured orange icing and provides no actual flavour. It seems we have another case of a company phoning it in a bit for the holidays.

What constitutes a scary chicken?

The dough on the outside is nice but would be much nicer if it was warm and fresh. Also it is a bit stodgy but not too bad considering my expectations I did have for Gregg’s. However next time guys can I get some more jam please. I will probably go back however for the banana shake. I may even review it.

Evidence of the phoning it in from the Gregg’s household was abundant in their windows. Several of their posters depicted their pastries beneath a Halloween pun. Guys just because you put a scarily bad pun above your product don’t make it festive to this hellish holiday.

Overall it wasn’t too bad, bit dull. It was essentially a jam doughnut with some orange icing on top. 

The design was kinda cool but only because the it looks more like the guys constipated or ill, which made me chuckle.

Score

5.5 out of 11

Found

Gregg's the bakers

Final Thoughts

I also want to try Starbucks new product the Duffin (doughnut muffin FYI)

Casper the friendly Cookie

There is a bit of a problem with myself made Halloween challenge. Can you see it? Basically all of the products I have tried and I am planning to try are a bit samey. I fear that by the time the bell tolls on Halloweens Eve I will be sick to death of creepy candy.

Take for example today's review item, a gingerbread ghost from my local bakers. Now it’s a perfectly good product and I know it’s going to be good quality. However it is the third ghoulish themed biscuit I have tried in a week. It’s why I set up the Challenge Me page because if I’m left to choose what I review it gets a bit familiar. It’s a problem we all naturally have that certain things will always be what catch our eyes.

Can you see what I mean about the basic shape?

So let todays post not only is a review of casper the friendly caper, but also a plea to you guys. Please send me challenges either in the comments of my posts or through my twitter HERE. Recommend or challenge me to find a product you know about I don’t care if it’s foul or fruity, salivating or shocking or even downright amazing.

Anyway on to today’s biscuit treat.  I spied this in my local bakers Reeves and thought it would be a nice accompaniment to my much beloved afternoon coffee. Regular readers will know two things at this point. Firstly my coffee lunch drink and biccy is very important and sets me right for the rest of the day. Secondly that when it comes to ginger based products I am very picky. There is clearly a right way to do it like these flapjacks and a very wrong way to do it like this terror.

First world problems right here!

However Reeves haven’t steered me too wrong in the past and it is fresh so we should be off to a good start. The design is nice if a bit of an odd shape. True it does look ghostly with the thick layer of white icing. Take that off however and it kinda looks to me like Mr Hanky from South Park. Not really wanting to dwell on that I’ll move on. It smells nice a gingery which is a good sign that it could be strong enough to satisfy my needs although I have been wrong before. Probably because my standards are a tad too high perhaps.

I nipped off a bit of the icing and find it to be rather solid almost like a sheet of plastic, luckly it doesn’t taste of such. In fact the icing doesn’t taste of anything much except sugar. Not necessarily a bad thing after all I wasn’t expecting any flavour. The biscuit itself has a nice fiery kick and good ginger taste to it, however it’s a bit hard and isn’t very sweet.

I saw the solution immediately have both bits together; you know how they intended it to be eaten. When both layers are consumed it does mix reasonably well. Although because both are rather solid to say the least the experience is a bit jarring, like biting a brick wall at times. One problem then occurred when the slab of icing completely fell away. Not a good sign really especially considering my earlier thought about how it looks minus decoration.

Not relevant but I made this, kinda proud :)

It’s not coffee and biscuit time without a mention to the dunking experience. As expected this is a good dunker and drinks the coffee in as much as I do. It tastes great this way too, no longer too hard and hasn’t turned too mushy the ginger flavour is really brought out. I soon munched the rest of the biscuit and then found a bag of icing left which I’m going to save for sweet snacking throughout the rest of the day.

Overall this was a great biscuit, however I would rather have had to seek it out rather than stroll past. Take this as a challenge from me to you reader, make me work for this blog!

Score
7 out of 11

Found 
Reeves the bakers

Final Thoughts
I hope I'm not coming off to strong or you guys will never call me maybe.

Fuzzy Monster Biscuit Bites Back

Ok so three mediocre to bad products is a bit of a bad run really isn’t it? Clearly these occultish treats have been sent to torment me. Or companies aren’t really that concerned with the standard of their products when dealing with a semi-popular holiday.

Either way I’ve decided it’s time to try a change of tact to break this bad spell. Today I thought I’m going to go for something fresher for review. The idea came to me as I finished work and bleary eyed I searched for caffeine. My search took me reluctantly to Gregg’s “the bakers”. I say reluctantly as I try not to go to Gregg’s usually, I’ve always thought of them as the McDonalds of bakeries. True their stuff looks tempting but fast and unhealthy is what I see behind the glamour.

However today was different as it was the nearest shop that sold takeaway coffees. Whilst there I took a look at their Halloween treats section, which kinda confirmed the usual Gregg’s suspicion. Yes all the monster themed cupcakes looked good but therein lay the point. They ALL looked good and ALL looked the same, I don’t think homemade food should or can look so uniform. That’s why I assume that most is made off site and perhaps “baked” (or warmed) in store. I’m sorry to anyone who is offended by this and if you know more about their baking policies feel free to comment. You may prove my assumptions wrong and I’ll happily become a Gregg’s regular.

 

It looks exactly the same as every other branch

Anyway the point is one of their lines was different, there in one of the baskets which I assume is meant to give the impression of a fresh bakery (sorry sticking to the review now.) This line was the monster biscuit you see in my photo, what made them different and stand out to me wasn’t however the design or the colours. No I saw that they had inconsistencies, some were off centred and slightly dog-eared. I t gave me hope that these were prepared by the fair people of this one store. Slightly hypocritically I picked up the best looking one and purchased it, in the hope that not only my review luck will change with a fresh approach (pun intended) but perhaps my opinion of Gregg’s too.

Now I’m not sure what type of monster this is, at first glance you may assume a green faced witch. However I’m taken to understand that a black hat is a requirement of witches so that can’t be true. I think I’ll refer to it as a fuzzy monster as the sprinkles give the impression of something with slightly more than an eight o’clock shadow.  Either way it is a rather cool and tasty looking biscuit treat.

It kinda felt like I was eating a Sesame Street puppet. 

The base is some form of butter or shortbread biscuit, atop this sits a rather large marshmallow dome. The marshmallow has then been decorated with green sprinkles and a nice icing paper decal. Now these decals feel a bit like cheating to some, after all it’s not too hard to do eyes and a mouth with icing. I however love this stuff and get addicted to it worrying, so I’m not complaining.

The biscuit alone is ok, it’s got a nice crumbly texture to it, however it’s a bit bland in taste and doesn’t taste very sweet or buttery. This was slightly disappointing until I dipped a piece in my coffee which took on a transformation, absorbing the caffeine woke it up and gave it a nicely subtle sugary taste. Then I got to the marshmallow and the surprise really began.

The marshmallow was delicious, the outside is nice and firm so I’d assumed it to be your typical mallow. How wrong I was, prepared greatly so that whilst the exterior did hold its shape but making the inside greatly gooey to the point where it’s almost a liquid. Both the mallow and the biscuit combine well, the mallow adds sweetness and melts just as well as the biscuit in my mouth. Clearly the biscuit alone wasn’t meant to be sweet as the sweetness comes from the marshmallow and sprinkles, Oh yeah and the jam!

Showcasing the awesome jammy goodness!

For you see hidden deep within the cellar lies a terrifyingly good secret. Underneath the marshmallow is a thin but adequate layer of jam. This creates an amazing combination with all the layers intertwining beautifully. The sprinkles are great too adding both crunch and sugary taste that fits nicely.

The experience is a bit similar to that of a Tunnock teacake. Instead of a chocolate layer and thin biscuit however we just have a thicker biscuit and a layer of sprinkles. The marshmallow itself is very similar and it’s not often a mallow can be prepared almost as good as the mighty Tunnock. As we know from my earlier review HERE I am a big fan of Tunnock's so it was a four gone conclusion when the jam and realisation hit.

Overall these have beaten my expectations; maybe I have been too harsh to Gregg’s. Indeed in this case they have succeeded in both turning me and this bad spell around. I still can’t quite get over the feeling of unease I get when entering their stores, the attempts to feel like a local bakers when I know there’s thousands exactly the same just doesn’t sit right with me.

Score

7 out of 11

Found

"My local" Gregg's the bakers.

Final Thoughts

There are three local Gregg's all within one mile and all look exactly the same. 

I fly High with the Bird's and Elephants!!!

 You know what really sucks about holidays? The last day, not only have you got to pack up everything but you need to travel to get home too. Every time is the same too no matter how much extra space you leave to compensate you still don’t have enough case room for all your souvenirs. Then there’s the weather, usually it’s either the best day all week the sun bearing down on you as you struggle with the cases. Or worse it’s pouring with rain and reflects your already dull and damp mood. (In scriptwriting this is called pathetic fallacy.)

As you may be able to guess my holiday is over, the cars packed and physically I’m ready to leave. Mentally I won’t to stay and the thoughts of the six hour car journey do nothing to sweeten my mood. Thankfully we are stopping over at relatives at the half way point to give ourselves a bit of a break. Let me tell you after sitting in the cramped car for so long that stop over will feel like another mini holiday!

Going to miss this scenary

I also have the thoughts of the home cooked meal we have to look forward to when we arrive as well, something we’ve missed out on recently. Don’t get me wrong the food was but it wasn’t exactly prepared with TLC. No, most of the time it was plainly obvious the only warmth coming from the food was an aftereffect of the radiation waves. Nothing can beat a good home cooked meal, unless it comes served with a certain pastry from the famous local Bakery.

The local baker in question is Bird’s bakery, a name spoken with the highest esteem and usually followed by a sigh of fond memories. Their products often form the benchmark for anything similar, with two products especially that cause instant salivation. These two are their sausages; I have yet to find a banger that even comes close to beating them. Then in the dessert corner their Elephant’s foot cake (not as grotesque or illegal as it sounds!)

Even the boxes look elegant, simple yet amazing

Today’s review is of said Elephant’s foot, I’ll try for something more than “Oh God Yes!!!” I’ll begin by describing it, essentially it is a big round éclair yet it’s so much more. A dome of beautifully delicate puff pastry severed in two and filled with home-made fresh whipped cream. Somehow this cream is both sweet and light in a way no other whipped cream I’ve ever tasted is. The dome is then covered in a generous layer of thick and gooey milk chocolate that’s set to fudge like consistency. In all its perfection on a plate, to be served alone as any compliment would be an insult.

I love to savour these obviously, and when such care has been taken to craft such treat I’ve developed a certain ritual. I start with the bottom half topped with the cream. Then once that’s been finished and every speck of creams gone I start on the top, working my way around the edge in a spiral like motion to the epicentre of chocolate. This may sound extreme but it make these bad boys last.

Take it in while it lasts, which won't be for long!

The pastry is light and airy that you barely feel any weight on the fork; it carries a very subtle taste that’s never stale. When mixed with the cream a light sugary taste is added that somehow doesn’t feel any heavier than without it. A delicately milky cream taste is the aftertaste once the sugars gone. It’s somehow deliciously creamy without being sickly sweet or making you feel guilty for indulging.

The top half is slightly thinner and yet made heavier by the chocolate. It’s thick and fudgy to the point where a knife is more suited to cutting it than the edge of a fork. Tasting milky and very chocolaty it melts in your mouth perfectly leaving the pastry behind with a chocolate hint to it. Whilst I do separate the layers like an insane person, if taken all in at once is just as good. As all the layers complement each other perfectly and never feels like you’re eating too much like most éclairs do. To me though all at once leaves it all over too soon and you can’t quite appreciate the different tastes on offer.

Overall not much else I can say except “Oh God Yes!!”

Score

9 out of 11

Found

Bird's bakery

Final Thought's

Their pig's are fed on the cakes they don't sell is what I've been told.