Late night snacking!

You may have noticed yesterdays post was rather short and a bit late. Once again don't get ahead of yourself and think I have some kind of hectic social life, I wish I did. No the post was slightly postponed due to having to travel halfway down the country. Despite asserting they provide a good (one that comes at a good price) it wasn't until I got home until I could post.

Was it worth it? In one way yes in another no, I am glad to be in my hometown for the holidays but considering I left my special someone behind I'm not. Still mustn't dwell on down thoughts, I had a great time visiting her and her family. A quick Christmas week before Christmas week, who doesn't want to celebrate the day twice? I got to get some last minute late night shopping done in Norwich too. Including getting to go to castle Mall a shopping center built beneath a friggin castle! Of course I took the chance to purchase many sweet things for myself and the blog. The highlight of such was a look in at Macaroons and more where I found their mince pie flavour.

But before we get to that lets look at some bread. No don't worry I haven't gone mad again and purchased something that may be savory and worse still possibly healthy. No, don't be foolish dear reader of course this isn't going to be good for me. Well I could argue that whilst it may not be good health wise it is beneficial for my well being. This bread is Morrison's Rudolph bread, a orange brioche type bread with chocolate chips baked in for love. The result a lovely breakfast feeling bread with a festive chocolate orange taste. The bread isn't soft which is my only issue. Texture wise its more like a giant hot cross bun, but reindeer shape. Still it is nice and goes lovely slightly toasted and smothered in butter.

Kind of looks like he is struggling to wink... worrying.

Then we get to the climax of today's tale the aforementioned Macaron (the French kind not the coconut monstrosity). Specifically one made by Tim, the guy who won Master chef and started a chain of biscuit shops, so much respect. I had been in last time I was in Norwich at which time I was a Macaron virgin, that soon changed with a salted caramel offering and since I have been a bit obsessed! Unfortunately I did start with the best and since nothing has quite lived up to it. So when I saw they had a festive edition in wild horses or rather donkeys (beach donkeys are provided on tap in Gt Yarmouth!) couldn't keep me away.

Sadly it was not a happy tasting as once again it paled in comparison to my first time. The quality was still there, the top and bottom shell is crunchy on the outside and gooey on the inside. The paste in the middle melts wonderfully releasing the flavour and generally it was amazing as biscuits go. It didn't quite taste of mince pie to me, the almond flavour over powered all other flavour somewhat. But seen as how I love the taste of almonds I can't exactly complain. Have no fear though I also purchased my one and only, my muse, my obsession, my salted caramel. Which lived up once again to all my needs and more. With a beautifully sweet caramel and subtly salty combination that takes you to sickly sweet before bringing you back down. A real treat  and I was smitten once more.

So sorry for misjudgment!

Before I end there I want to mention something I found the other day that isn't quite so special.  A super Mario Noel selection box, yeah you already know this isn't going to be good. But after seeing it I could hardly not purchase it just to revel in it's terribleness. And after all it does contain a whole NINE items (that's like one more than eight). You could just tell by the box this screamed cheap calendar chocolate. But I was wrong and whilst it doesn't taste of what you'd call quality it does taste pretty good. nice and milky and not overly sweetened. At the price it was being sold at nine items suddenly looks good. I feel rather bad for mocking it.

I felt as guilty as Donkey Kong here does!

Overall it was a great mini holiday and all the goodies I gathered were pretty decent, I'm sorry Mario I misjudged you.. again!

Score
Rudolph bread - 7 out of 11
Mince pie Macaron - 6 out of 11
Salted Caramel macaron - 10 out of 11
Mario - 5 out of 11

Found
Rudolphe - Morrison's
Macaron's - Tim's Macarons and More
Mario Box - Toys'R'Us

Final Thoughts
Only three more excitement disturbed sleeps till XMAS.

Cupcake conundrum

Have no fear readers I am still alive. Yes I managed to stay at the Murder Motel and come out unscathed. It appears as if my insanity was too much even for the ghosts and ghouls that roam those halls. Either that or the Blood Bag yesterday was actually edible (barely) and wasn’t as toxic as it looked/tasted.

So onwards with our adventure to the foulest and most fun day of the year, Halloween. While yesterday’s review may have been a washout the principle of an item I have yet to touch is maintained in spirit today. For like yesterday todays item or rather items are things I never buy, mainly because I don’t usually like them

Today’s review is of two Halloween themed cupcakes, one from Gregg’s and one from a local baker. I don’t know what it is about cupcakes that I don’t like they just always seem a bit disappointing. Before you all arrive at my door pitchfork and torches in hand let me expand on my opinion. I know that it probably is one held by few especially it seems at the moment when cupcakes with unique and exciting toppings are all the rage.

To be fair perhaps the eyeball one would be more Halloweeny

The problem is however indeed those unique and exciting toppings. Gasp, shock, and horror I know. It’s just yes those toppings are cool and tasty but the cakes underneath are usually all the same and the majority of what you’re eating. There are only a few varieties of flavour that you see underneath and most of the time it’s vanilla. The toppings are where the makers focus all their efforts as they know it’s where your attention is. Sneaky folks these bakers (no offence it’s a clever ploy after all!) However I thought in all things new experiences I would bite the sponge (probably vanilla) and try a couple to see if my tastes have changed.

So first up we have Gregg’s cupcakes, they had two types in stock I picked the left hand one in the photo with orange buttercream icing. It looked nicer and at least it has some chocolate so I’m not too far from my comfort zone. I may go back and try the eye one but the topping just didn’t look so nice (see even I’m a sucker for looks). I took a lick of the topping and found it to be a rich butter cream as I had expected, a bit too rich really. Although when I bit into the cake as a whole finding vanilla (knew it!) I also found that actually a planer sponge taste compliments the sweetness well. Anything more would be too sickly, after all this comes close as it is.

How much is that ghosty in the window?

Yes it was nice but I’m afraid nice doesn’t make me a lover of cupcakes from now on. The second one I tried from a local baker came as a result of not absolutely hating the first. Also the one I saw made me chuckle and when that happens I’m in love. The one I plumped for is the cheerful little ghosty at the front as he captured my heart. The buttercream on top of these were described as cream cheese frosting so I had high hopes to begin with. Again I started by giving the topping a lick first and found it to be subtly sweet with a good cheesy afterthought. I plucked off the icing ghost too and ate him separately. He was nice although I did feel a heavy pang of guilty as I knew his hopes for life (this worlds and the next) had now been crushed. As a whole the cupcake tasted ok, sadly the cake underneath wasn’t carrot cake. Strange that they didn’t go for a carrot cake bottom considering how the top was cream cheese. They may have missed out on some extra brownie points there.

Overall they were nice but they neither surprised me nor turned me into a cupcaker. After all the toppings were the main attraction again.

Score

Gregg's ghoulish offering- 6 out of 11

Bakers benign treat- 8 out of 11

Found

Gregg's and high street baker

Final Thoughts

Never seen a cupcake with topping underneath, could be interesting and errrm messy 

Ginger, cinder Goodness

Sorry if my posts seem a bit intermittent at the moment. I’m currently having a jaunt round the Lake District. The scenery is amazing, with rolling hills with the tops concealed in the clouds to the deep valleys that make your stomach jump. What it isn’t however neither modern nor internet friendly, although for the sights I’m seeing I don’t mind taking a Wi-Fi break.

Something I’ve really enjoyed but didn’t even consider is the quirky towns that we are passing through to get to the sights. Obviously they are purposefully quant and odd as they target themselves to us tourists passing through. I don’t like to think of this as I walk round them because I start to notice how fake everything actually is; at take the weirdness at face value instead.

I had already eaten half by the time I took this, that good!

It helps that for each small town there is usually two great sweet shops and five bakeries. Each one we pass through sends me into a fit of excitement like I’m a child again (again?) Honestly in some of these towns there must be about five cafes per actual resident. I’m developing a theory that the “locals” I see running and drinking in them are actually robots, a bit like in the film West World.

I’ve visited many a sweet shop I can tell you and have a lot of catching up to do when I get home. Today’s review items come from an awesome town we discovered unexpectedly called Keswick. Home to the world famous Puzzling Place, Dinosaur and Raptor Experience and Cumbria’s Pencil Museum. I went to the first of these paid four quid to screw my eyes up and thought I’d give the latter a miss.

One place I didn’t miss however was Bryson’s bakery. In which I found a flapjack, but not just any old flapjack. A ginger flapjack (as in flavour not hair colour), now I can take or leave a flapjack but when you factor in ginger I just had to try it. I’m definitely glad I did believe me, upon opening I was hit with a gloriously fiery ginger aroma and knew I’d picked a winner.

It doesn't exactly look appealing I know

I excitedly took a bite,. There is a reason Bryson’s are known in these parts because they know what they are doing with food. This flapjack is a testament to that, a perfect balance of oats and syrup infused with enough ginger to standout and not be too fiery (although usually the hotter the better). It’s not too dense and stodgy either so it was quite tempting to demolish the whole block at once. I had to restrain myself long enough to take a picture for you guys. I’m hoping for another chance to visit as I was greedily eyeing up their Battenberg cake but didn’t purchase.

The second item is nowhere near as special or one of a kind. No every shop I walk in seems to sell it in some form or another. It didn’t interest me at first but I became so overexposed to it that it annoyed me enough to purchase (I know that shouldn’t make sense right?) I think the thing that was putting me off mainly was the packaging. Every time I saw it, it was in a clear plastic wrapper like those on toys, 0this doesn’t make it very appealing.

The scenery is beautiful

It’s called Cinder Toffee. I’d assumed that it was just hard burnt pieces of toffee and imagined overly sweet rock in flavour. I was very wrong and feel ashamed in my judgement. It is neither rock solid nor overly sweet. No! It’s soft and crumbly like solidified honey (which I love) or soft rock, with an aerated centre like an Aero bar. Creating a brilliantly crumbly sweet that melts on the tongue. The taste is nice too it is defiantly very sweet toffee however because of its hollow nature it is in no way sickly. Honestly I managed to eat most of the bag at once. I’m going to try another variant I’ve seen soon that’s covered in chocolate but I don’t think it will be as nice. Also it won’t have the surprise value this had honestly wish someone had filmed me eating this.

Overall I love Cumbria and the sights, sounds and of course tastes I’m experiencing. I’ve not even been to Kendal yet. When I get there somehow I think there will be a shortage of their famous mint cake!

Score
Ginger Flapjack 8 out of 11
Cinder Toffee 6 out of 11
Found
Bryson's Bakery for the flapjack
Final Thoughts

Cheap, Cheerful and the chocolates not bad either.

So I’m sat in a tent, plonked in a field, in Berkshire England. The first two being very unique activities for me individually but together well readers I’m through the looking glass. As those who have read my last post will guess this review is being written from the Reading festival (although typed up on my return and posted who knows when).

For those who don’t know Reading festival is named after the place not the activity and is a music event and not an enlarged book club. It’s about midday and the sun has heated this tent up to the point where I can barely stay awake. So here volunteering for a ticket, this basically means for a week I’m babysitting around 90,000 drunk and stoned music lovers. It’s been interesting so far to say the least, but hey-ho a free pass is a free pass right? In all this madness and second hand smoke I’ve managed time to divulge in my own personal recreational high of choice, sugar.

No expense spared on packaging clearly

Last night my two tent-mates and I went on an evening “stroll” to the local Tesco’s for supplies (local here meaning a two hour round journey/adventure). Somehow I “accidentally” stumbled upon the confectionary aisle, whilst there couldn’t help buying some form of chocolate for the times ahead. Fittingly I chose a bar of Tesco’s basic milk chocolate, partly due to a limited budget but it also fits in with the feel of “roughing it” of camping (I’m a manly man and therefore there is none of this

“Glam-ping”. No sir!)

To be honest despite dreading the idea of leaving my modern comforts behind and pitching what is essentially a plastic bag as shelter, I have found it quite relaxing. At one point I was caught lying down in the sun for quite some time content with doing nothing at all. So it seems right that the product for this review be in the same back to basic theme. Perhaps a bar of plain milk chocolate will refresh my palette which has become accustomed to weird combinations and exotic flavours of late. There is after all a large soft space in my heart for the dependable milk chocolate, especially if it features a happy frog at a happy 20 pence apiece price tag.

Simple things, simple minds

So here I am writing and eating chocolate together again for the first time in three days (at one point I almost went to the Samaritan tent for help!). Long story short, it was heaven as you can expect after the hiatus. They say your environment alters how you perceive the food you taste and in this case it is certainly true. The heat from the day has softened the bar in my bag to a perfect point where upon placing on my tongue it melts immediately. It may be Tesco’s cheapest bar but it tastes good. Very sweet, very creamy and very milky, just the way uh huh uh huh I like it. Nothing fancy but exactly what I needed. I’ve always preferred these cheaper milk chocs to dairy milk as they often tend to be a little too sweet and sickly. The textures great too as it has an almost fudgy feel as some of the cooler parts take longer to melt.

The other side to this tale comes to you later as the British summer does its thing and turns into a torrential downpour. My pod in the tent is like a freezer right now and I’m wrapped up and dreading the next shift I have to work. Growing weak this chocolate has to have enough strength to cheer me up as I’m buffeted by the breeze. Unfortunately in a cool environment this chocolate is like a Victorian Mother cold, harsh and reserved. Gone are smooth flavour, texture and sweetness. Somehow it has been replaced by a slab of solid tasteless chocolate which is chewed into a lumpy mush. It’s become very plain now and tastes quite cheap. Worse still some has gone crumbly and been lost to the crevices of my sleeping bag. Such a dramatic change demonstrates how delicate the simple bar of cocoa can be that the whole flavour can be altered by the weather.

My tea making facilities, impressed?

Overall though I did enjoy this bar, I knew I would as I have had it before. I f kept well this cheap bar can be as in flavour as the premium choices. It’s full of flavour and has a great texture. Be warned mistreat it and it will turn on you like a bitch.

Score

5 out of 11

Found

Tesco in Reading

Final Thoughts

Drunk and stoned people are great to have a conversation with believe me.

Is this what we have become?

What was your favourite family holiday? I know what you’re thinking, that’s a random question to start a sweet review blog. Well yes it is and it’s also the most random thing you will find in this piece as well. Today I take a look at Rowntree’s “Random” Rip-em’s. See even that seemingly a random question has an explanation.

Oh I bet these are interesting...

I thought I’d try a new idea for today and not review something involving chocolate (normal service shall resume do not fear). Hopefully this idea of mine will work out somewhat better than Rowntree’s idea to slap Random on their products. I can only think that they are trying to jump on the whole random is funny bandwagon. The problem is said bandwagon of being random for randoms sake, is sailing off into the horizon now to the point that it’s becoming boring and anything but random.

The second problem is that their definition of “random” is a bit lacking in description. Judging by the products under this line so far to Rowntree the word involves them catching whatever drops off the other production lines and jamming them into a bag together. Basically taking the parts that don’t quite make their own quality control and putting them to good use. A good idea but not quite random I’m afraid guys. Well the next attempt at being kooky are these fruit strips or Rip-ems (bit violent sounding) and in reality they are really rather dull.

Nope maybe I was wrong.

The advert campaign for the release involved a man dressed as a parrot eating the strips and talking to himself. I’ll admit this is a bit random, it is also very annoying and really rather sad. So from the very get go I was wary of this product and its view on kooky. One thing I’d like to point out is that in the advert the parrot man-child thing eats these by pulling a single strip off and eating it. Hardly very random is it, he doesn’t mix flavours nor does he do as they suggest and mould them into something. Clearly the ideas department didn’t make it to marketing as there is no co-operation going on at Rowntree.

It just got a bit less random when I tried these strips, whilst they taste quite nice and have a good quality fruity flavour they are in no way random. The orange is orange, the Yellow is lemon, the purple is blackcurrant and the red is red flavoured (strawberry?). Well that’s randomly predictable isn’t it? Hey guys, you know you could have at least mixed the colours up a bit and kept us guessing. Would it have been too hard to even try some odd varieties, look at the Harry Potter jelly beans they are more random and they put the pictures on the back.

Well I tried at least

As sweets they are very nice good effort and admittedly better than their rival fruit strips, they taste quite clearly of what they are meant to be.  All this just adds insult to injury and that’s what annoys me these do not meet their description in anyway. I played their game though I tried to “Let my random side out” basically play with them. On the back of the pack they helpfully give advice on how to use them, on mine it appeared to be roll it into a ball, seriously! Am I the only person here that either feels like Rowntree either couldn’t be bothered here or are just scrapping the barrel to add to their “random” product line?

It could have been more effective if they had gone; hey everyone here’s our alternative to fruit wind ups. It would have made more sense and be a serious competitor because they are better. Yet instead they want me to play with these things. I don’t because I know where my hands have been (imagine how a pig farmer would feel). I’m not a child! I just want sweets, ah um bad point there perhaps. A bit off putting is that the colour fades when you move them too much and makes them look whitish like they are going off.

An omelette that's random, nope it too has meaning.

Now it’s not these sweets fault the way that they’ve been marketed to us. Therefore they don’t really deserve me ranting about the naming process. To be more honest there also isn’t much else to talk about because they are just so dull. Rowntree knew this and thought slapping the word random on them might drum up some attention. This is what annoyed me to contribute to the current trend of calling everything random to justify it being funny. Surely if we go round calling every slightly odd thing as random nothing is? Random is a beautiful word to be used sparingly, like on the odd occasion when a homeless man swears blind your name is Frank as he sells you a magazine (yes that happened). Random isn’t appropriately coloured strips of fruit sweet. See readers I’m a sage in these modern times really.

Overall they are nice as fruit strips but they are also rather dull.

Score

4 out of 11

Found

Tesco

Final Thoughts

I feel rather guilty for having a rant at these sweets... sorry.

Mending Fences

So I often will say that I love all things chocolate and to a point this is true. There is however a large portion of the chocolate industry I don’t like, a company to whose chocolate I’m rather indifferent. That is Mars products, now don’t get me wrong I love Galaxy (See I’m not a complete monster.) I’ll also often choose M&M’s over Smarties, but both are cool with me. But the rest of their products (including their namesake Mars bar) I could quite easily live without.

The problem is most of Mar’s products incorporate real turn offs for me. Firstly I don’t like chewy or sticky caramels in my chocolate. No, the caramel needs to be gooey and runny like you’ll find in Dairy Milk caramel bars. Next I don’t really like a bar that skimps on choccy for a solid block of biscuit running throughout. It’s like the product is a bit confused and shuns the sweet aisle and is eyeing up the biscuit barrel like it holds greener pastures. Both these things can hinder the chocolates ability to melt on your tongue which is what I tend to look for. I like to savour my chocolate, not bite it away at once.

Now if I were to put these two qualities into the much loved and possibly overused vend diagram, I think you’ll agree that you’d find a Twix bar. This bar to me is the worst of the worst, partly because of said fall in the diagram. Also it’s probably partly to a mistaken belief I held onto during childhood that Twix bars contained nuts. Up until very recently I have avoided nuts and nut products due to hatred towards them. This hatred however has gone replaced with much apology and regret at the missed nutty opportunities. Whilst I was wrong for both my hatred of nuts and my belief that they lurked within Twix I stayed clear in case.

See the lengths I go to for you guys!

It’s ironic the that today’s review is seeking to form a bond betwixt (HeeHee) me and Twix in the form of peanut butter Twix. Like the rest of the United Kingdom I am experiencing an obsession with all things peanut butter so saw an opportunity to indulge in the latest craving. Upon first bite I was hooked in by the taste of salty peanut butter and a flirt of chocolate. Even better was that the biscuit seemed to have

minimal impact and wasn’t very detectable. The only downside was that the peanut butter seemed a bit too sticky but I wasn’t complaining. It was pretty damn good and it looked like grovelling to the Twix gods was needed.

I think the state of the wrapper shows how eager I was to repair relations.

Then the second bite and subsequent bites occurred and I was in for disappointment. Suddenly the chocolate was undetectable the peanut butter lost its flavour and worse the biscuit was very much present. The biscuit is terrible too, despite bragging itself as chocolate cookie it has no flavour at all and is way too crunchy. I realised with horror that my initial bite at the beginning was the end of the bar where the chocolate ratio is high. Now however i was in the middle of the biscuit ocean with the chocolate shore in the far horizon. I was eating a chocolate bar devoid of a chocolate flavour. The cookie too lacked any of its own and the peanut butter sticky and had lost the partnership with the chocolate.

Twix peanut butter is definitely not high on taste instead it offers crunch and stickiness. Put simply it is a bar for those who enjoy texture over taste, I am not one of those people as you can clearly see. So I’m afraid that this purchase wasn’t the catalyst that rebuilt any burnt bridges. Instead like an unhappy marriage the only thing that grew was resentment.

Score

4 out of 11

Found

Sweet Haven store in Thurrock shopping centre

Final thoughts

I'm probably now going to be able to think of loads of Mars products I like... Malteasers