Monday, 14 October 2013

Fuzzy Monster Biscuit Bites Back

Ok so three mediocre to bad products is a bit of a bad run really isn’t it? Clearly these occultish treats have been sent to torment me. Or companies aren’t really that concerned with the standard of their products when dealing with a semi-popular holiday.

Either way I’ve decided it’s time to try a change of tact to break this bad spell. Today I thought I’m going to go for something fresher for review. The idea came to me as I finished work and bleary eyed I searched for caffeine. My search took me reluctantly to Gregg’s “the bakers”. I say reluctantly as I try not to go to Gregg’s usually, I’ve always thought of them as the McDonalds of bakeries. True their stuff looks tempting but fast and unhealthy is what I see behind the glamour.

However today was different as it was the nearest shop that sold takeaway coffees. Whilst there I took a look at their Halloween treats section, which kinda confirmed the usual Gregg’s suspicion. Yes all the monster themed cupcakes looked good but therein lay the point. They ALL looked good and ALL looked the same, I don’t think homemade food should or can look so uniform. That’s why I assume that most is made off site and perhaps “baked” (or warmed) in store. I’m sorry to anyone who is offended by this and if you know more about their baking policies feel free to comment. You may prove my assumptions wrong and I’ll happily become a Gregg’s regular.
It looks exactly the same as every other branch
Anyway the point is one of their lines was different, there in one of the baskets which I assume is meant to give the impression of a fresh bakery (sorry sticking to the review now.) This line was the monster biscuit you see in my photo, what made them different and stand out to me wasn’t however the design or the colours. No I saw that they had inconsistencies, some were off centred and slightly dog-eared. I t gave me hope that these were prepared by the fair people of this one store. Slightly hypocritically I picked up the best looking one and purchased it, in the hope that not only my review luck will change with a fresh approach (pun intended) but perhaps my opinion of Gregg’s too.

Now I’m not sure what type of monster this is, at first glance you may assume a green faced witch. However I’m taken to understand that a black hat is a requirement of witches so that can’t be true. I think I’ll refer to it as a fuzzy monster as the sprinkles give the impression of something with slightly more than an eight o’clock shadow.  Either way it is a rather cool and tasty looking biscuit treat.

It kinda felt like I was eating a Sesame Street puppet. 
The base is some form of butter or shortbread biscuit, atop this sits a rather large marshmallow dome. The marshmallow has then been decorated with green sprinkles and a nice icing paper decal. Now these decals feel a bit like cheating to some, after all it’s not too hard to do eyes and a mouth with icing. I however love this stuff and get addicted to it worrying, so I’m not complaining.

The biscuit alone is ok, it’s got a nice crumbly texture to it, however it’s a bit bland in taste and doesn’t taste very sweet or buttery. This was slightly disappointing until I dipped a piece in my coffee which took on a transformation, absorbing the caffeine woke it up and gave it a nicely subtle sugary taste. Then I got to the marshmallow and the surprise really began.

The marshmallow was delicious, the outside is nice and firm so I’d assumed it to be your typical mallow. How wrong I was, prepared greatly so that whilst the exterior did hold its shape but making the inside greatly gooey to the point where it’s almost a liquid. Both the mallow and the biscuit combine well, the mallow adds sweetness and melts just as well as the biscuit in my mouth. Clearly the biscuit alone wasn’t meant to be sweet as the sweetness comes from the marshmallow and sprinkles, Oh yeah and the jam!

Showcasing the awesome jammy goodness!
For you see hidden deep within the cellar lies a terrifyingly good secret. Underneath the marshmallow is a thin but adequate layer of jam. This creates an amazing combination with all the layers intertwining beautifully. The sprinkles are great too adding both crunch and sugary taste that fits nicely.

The experience is a bit similar to that of a Tunnock teacake. Instead of a chocolate layer and thin biscuit however we just have a thicker biscuit and a layer of sprinkles. The marshmallow itself is very similar and it’s not often a mallow can be prepared almost as good as the mighty Tunnock. As we know from my earlier review HERE I am a big fan of Tunnock's so it was a four gone conclusion when the jam and realisation hit.

Overall these have beaten my expectations; maybe I have been too harsh to Gregg’s. Indeed in this case they have succeeded in both turning me and this bad spell around. I still can’t quite get over the feeling of unease I get when entering their stores, the attempts to feel like a local bakers when I know there’s thousands exactly the same just doesn’t sit right with me.

7 out of 11

"My local" Gregg's the bakers.

Final Thoughts
There are three local Gregg's all within one mile and all look exactly the same. 

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