I’ve reached a worrying point in this review. I have real concerns that today’s item could do me some serious harm. Perhaps if it does and I do go belly up after consuming this… interesting specimen I’ll be in the ground in enough time to rise again on the big night itself (Halloween). If the worst does happen I hope you, my valued and varied reader knows that I did it for them.
Furthermore I hope someone will pick up my mantle and carry forth the torch o everything I stand for. To be honest it will be a pretty easy task as I stand for very little (I don’t even give up my seat on the train). What could possibly be causing me to have such concerns for my health? Is it worth it? Not really to be honest but in the interest of my self-made challenge when I saw this for as little as a pound I had to purchase. It’s an interesting item to say the least, it’s a blood bag!
|To be fair on them they put effort in.|
Before you all throw up your breakfast I’ll point out this is a candy blood bad containing what it claims to be strawberry flavour liquid candy. This is a first for this blog so at least if this challenge item does kill me it has done its job in getting me to try new things. While this looks like a product I wouldn’t trust usually I must commend them on getting into the fun of the festivities. From the packaging to the product itself the thing screams Halloween.
The brand is called Murder Motel, which makes me wonder what they produce the rest of the year. I can’t imagine that one good season can cover them for the entire year. There are a few “hilarious” puns too. It’s apparently owned by DR. Acula, oh as in Dracula. I see what you did there how witty, Oscar Wilde would be green with envy at not thinking this himself. Furthermore it appears to be the blood of victim no. 505 AKA Will B.Back, pure genius clearly. The best joke however is the slight attempt to appear healthy with the proud proclamation that it’s “Fat Free” that’s hilarious. I did notice on the back the notice that “E129 may have an adverse effect on activity and attention in children. OH GOD, WHAT WILL IT DO TO ME THEN!
|Yeah, doesn't look too confidence filling|
I can’t put it off any longer and in the interest of science and all things candy blogging I snip the end off and prepare myself. Sucking on the end I watch the gooey substance slowly inch towards my mouth. The build-up and tension is killing me, what the hell is this stuff? Why it is so slow and why am I doing this? Then it hits me!
It tastes about as expected, terrible. Although initially not too bad I thought perhaps I had misjudged it, then realisation comes in. It tastes sickly and sour and way too syrupy, like drinking pure sugar water with some artificial strawberry flavouring added for bad luck. Which I fear is essentially what it is. It gets worse as once it hits your throat it creates a burning sensation. Needless to say this went in the bin quickly and definitely won’t B.Back (see what I did there).
Overall this is terrible but then again I knew it would be. I bought it because it was cheap and I have yet to review anything liquid based. I’m really regretting this decision. Hope you guys appreciated this, because I didn't.
2 out of 11
Halloween section in a newsagents
If the Overlook had been named Murder Motel perhaps the shining would have been completely different!